- Where were you forbidden (or too frightened) to go when you were growing up, and why?
I lived on Waipahu Street, the main drag (well, sorta) through our neighborhood on which people drove really quickly. I was forbidden from riding my bike in the street,
which I mostly stuck to. Occasionally a neighbor would have a car parked in his driveway, blocking the sidewalk, and I’d have to go around. I was supposed to get off my bike and walk it around the car, but of course I seldom did that. My dad actually saw me ride around it once, taking my bike right into the middle of the oncoming lane, and he yelled at me.
- What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve done in the past couple of years?
For the past year and a half, I’ve gone on very long walks, sometimes late at night. Sometimes when I have to pee, I can find a convenient (and acceptably clean or safe)
restroom, but sometimes I can’t. And since I am blessed to be a male, taking care of things isn’t that difficult. I’m sure I’ve violated a few ordinances behind trees in parks, on the sides of school buildings, and even on heavy machinery. Sorry.
- Under what circumstances have you gone into a place you knew you weren’t supposed to enter?
I received a citation for walking through the campus of Honolulu Community College at about 10 in the evening. They usually reserve the trespassing ticket for someone up to something, but I was just cutting through the parking lot. So annoying. Also, I’ve squeezed through spaces in gates in order to find somewhere safe to pee.
- Which aisle in your supermarket do you just about never go down?
There’s this aisle that has shampoo and other toiletries. I think I’ve been down it twice, looking for a bargain on this rosemary-scented shampoo I used to like. I still like it; I just can’t find it anymore. That aisle. I don’t go to my grocery store for soap and shampoo, although I guess maybe I should consider it if it means one fewer stop.
- Not counting traffic situations, when did you last willfully disobey something you read on a sign?
There’s this short ramp on campus at UHM, between the campus mail room and Hemenway Hall. It runs alongside some steps, and walkers are supposed to use the staps while cars take the ramp. There’s a sign than says no human traffic on the ramp, and I hate that sign. I know why it’s there: it makes it safer for everyone if drivers don’t have to look for walkers first. But I’m smart. I have eyes. I can see when a car is about to come down or go up the ramp, so I can decide for myself how safe it is to walk up or down it. Stupid sign. I walk the ramp specifically to defy its ridiculous existence. I don’t mind a suggestion to be careful, but I won’t be told I can’t walk somewhere when the only reason I can’t is someone doesn’t trust my judgment.
I cannot be tamed.