Friday 5: It Means Everything

From here.

If you were outside right now, what would you most likely be doing?

It’s Sunday afternoon as I type this, so almost surely listening to podcasts and just walking about. I really need to do more of that. The move to the new office has made it trickier to find my steps goals. The area itself is fine; I’ve pounded tens of thousands of steps in the neighborhood over the years but I haven’t worked it into my day the way I could on campus.

Right now, what’s a little too close to you?

The dog. It’s a cute little thing but it wants to play fetch and I’m trying to write.

Right now, who misses you?

That’s a good question. My students used to call me heartless when they asked, “Are you going to miss us after we’ve graduated?” and my response was, “Probably not.” Actively missing someone is an emotional thing I don’t think you can predict about students (and maybe anyone) no matter how good your relationships are with them. You spend so much time focused on the students in your classrooms; it’s rare that you have moments to miss the students who aren’t. I hope wherever they are, they realize I was right, since of course they don’t miss me one iota. People have their lives. I don’t think they miss the absence of me in those lives. And since I am at this very moment in my parents’ living room, I can’t say my folks miss me.

Right now, what’s having its way with you?

Certain household chores keep piling up and I can’t seem to get caught up. They’re beginning to cause me stress, and that stress is affecting the quality of my life. Maybe it’s the stress that’s having its way with me. I even took a day of vacation Thursday to try and deal, but I ended up sleeping most of the day and then going to a late matinee of Captain Marvel. Which turned out to be a good idea, because my stress level dipped but I still haven’t done anything on the house work. Ugh.

What do you most wish you were doing right now?

Ninety percent of the time my answer to this question is usually “sleeping,” but right now I wish I were drinking coffee and reading Harry Potter.

Friday 5: Beware

From here.

  1. What’s something people cautioned you against that turned out not to be dangerous or bad at all?

    I know a person who once worked where I work today. He was supportive of my efforts to get a position here, and when I accepted the position, he congratulated me and then warned me that the culture is toxic.

    I said, “Then this is my chance to detoxify it!”

    I meant it because I think good influencers, which I’ve spent my whole adult life trying to be, are more powerful than bad ones even when they’re outnumbered. Yet I’ve found very little toxicity here, and certainly none in my department. I really love the people I work with and am super happy to be here.

  2. What’s something you wish someone had cautioned you about?

    My problem is that when someone warns me not to do something, I almost automatically want to do it. For the purpose of this question, let’s assume it’s someone I trust and it’s something I sincerely want wisdom about. I’ve had my failed relationship with R on my mind a lot lately — I just turned 50, and I fell in love with her for good when I was 19, and I recently downloaded a dating app on my phone (which I have not yet opened, and it’s been three weeks), so I’ve got a lot to think about. I think maybe my biggest regret in life is not making the most of love when I was in the middle of it and when it was requited (in my mid-20s). I worried about appearances; I worried about not being grown up enough; and honestly I was pretty comfortable right where we were. I believe now that there are critical moments (I’m still trying to decide whether it’s plural or singular, actually) in a relationship where if you don’t go to the next thing, you never will. I would actually have been okay with that but it’s clear that I am the only one. I wish someone had at least led me to consider what this might be at 50, especially with some kind of foreknowledge that I would not be teaching high-schoolers anymore. But even as I type this I know I wouldn’t have listened!

  3. What’s your favorite non-English word of warning?

    There are two interesting phrases in Japanese I always hear in my mom’s voice. The first is ki o tsukete kudasai or usually just ki o tsukete which she says when I’m on my way out the door. It’s just “be careful” or “travel with care.” If I say it to her, her response is always “hai, thank you.”

    The other is abunai, which is more like “watch out!” It’s literally “dangerous,” so the meaning depends on context and tone.

  4. What’s a really stupid thing you’ve done that could have resulted in your demise?

    I’m saving this story for another time so the short version: I saw a homeless man yelling at a Korean shop owner in downtown Honolulu once. She was yelling back, so I went inside and asked the guy what the problem was. He told me he was only asking to use the phone and that the lady yelled at him to get out. I said, “Let’s go outside and talk about this.” I let him share as we walked across the street, and a few minutes later I put him on a bus and paid his bus fare to get where he said he needed to go (he said he’d needed the phone to call a cab). I went back to the store to ask the lady if she was okay and she was. I’m not sure what I could have done differently and still diffuse the situation, but with so many of these guys you don’t know what state they’re in or what they’ve got in their pockets. I was lucky; the confrontation only cost me $2.75.

  5. What should you probably stay away from this weekend?

    They opened a new Japanese dollar store less than a block away from the office. It’s the second location in Hawaii, and people still line up to get inside the first, which has been open for months. It’s a symptom of rock fever, that disease many of us get where we’re dying for something new because we often can’t find something new without getting on a plane. I hate crowds and lines, so although I will go in to the office for a little while, I will avoid the area around the new store.

Friday 5: Parental Guidance

From here.

Where do you think you’re going?

I’m writing this on Wednesday, and tomorrow I am definitely not going to work. I really need a day or two off, and I prefer not to take Fridays, which are often my most productive days in the office. Also, I would rather be off on days when I know most people are working. I have a bit of housework piling up, and I wouldn’t mind seeing a movie or two. Although there’s a fair chance that where I think I’m really going is to a boba cafe to drink tea and read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. It’s all I really want to do anymore.

Who do you think you are?

According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I’m INFJ, which, according to the popular graphic someone put out several years ago, lines me up with Remus Lupin in the Harry Potter universe. I’ll take it, but I disagree with some of the characters this person put in the chart. I don’t know if there’s any way to tell Sirius Black is an extrovert, for example, or that Lupin is an introvert. Also, why are Lily and James Potter in this chart? We don’t even really know them, and there are so many other characters we could consider for these types. When I’m done re-reading the series, I really want to re-do the chart, although I doubt I’d be much better at it. I have to admit I like being a Lupin.

What’s gotten into you?

I’ve been working rather hard lately, and what’s gotten into me is a kind of weariness. Add my struggles with Lent this year (I’ll explain another time, maybe) and it’s physical weariness on top of mental weariness. Yeah, I’m a big wuss. Physically and mentally.

How do you expect to pay for all this?

I’m having to rein in a few things, but I mostly do all right, although I’ve been unable to save anything since my gig with the city councilmember ended last August. I dipped into saving to pay regular bills last month, and my car was in the shop most of last week for some clutch work. That was a $700 repair I’m still paying for. So mostly, how I expect to pay for all this is to cut back on a few bad habits I’ve picked up and be a little stricter with my impusive spending. That’s the plan, anyway! Next on the car list is to get the AC looked at.

When are you going to come to your senses?

Hopefully never. Without the MBTI chart, if you ask me which HP character I identify most closely with, I’d say Luna Lovegood. We’re very different in so many ways, but I feel like I get her, and I think she’d get me. Sense, at least the way we usually talk about it, is not one of Luna’s governing traits. My second choice would probably be Mad-Eye Moody, although I’m basing that mostly on the Mad-Eye we know through most of book four, and (no spoiler!) if you’ve read the book you know why I can’t honestly do that. It isn’t Moody’s CONSTANT VIGILANCE, but the way he knows how to say the encouraging thing to a student when the student most needs to hear it. I’m not the greatest teacher in the world, but that’s something I do.

Review: Hearts Beat Loud

Hearts Beat Loud (2018)

Nick Offerman, Kiersey Clemons, Ted Danson, Blythe Danner, Toni Collette, Sasha Lane.  Written by Brett Haley and Marc Basch. Directed by Brett Haley.

I’m always disappointed when music documentaries don’t show us the process of creating music.  There’s a bit of this in Dave Grohl’s Sound City, but I’m drawing a blank trying to think of another film that lets us in this way.  Hearts Beat Loud, if it had been about a real band, would have satisfied some of my yearning.

Nick Offerman is Frank Fischer, the widowed owner of a vinyl-only record store in Brooklyn.  His daughter Samantha is a few days from leaving for UCLA, where she’s an intended pre-med major.  Deeply immersed in studies for a summer course, Samantha resists her father’s pleading to join him in a jam session in their studio, but finally caves, and we’re treated to a no-dialogue sequence where father and daughter lay down tracks in the creation of a song called “Hearts Beat Loud.”

It’s a good song.  Frank is certain Samantha has it in her to make her living as a performing musician.  She’s laser-focused on UCLA. Frank secretly uploads their song to Spotify, and it quickly gets attention.

Hearts Beat Loud is loaded with well-conceived characters I won’t describe because they and the movie’s songs are pretty much the heart of the movie.  The story exists for character development, as do the settings and circumstances, and the movie’s joy comes from watching characters interact in different moments against different backdrops.

This is normally the kind of movie I love, but I have mixed feelings about this one, and I shouldn’t.  The acting is very good; I especially liked the supporting characters played by Ted Danson, Blythe Danner, and Toni Collette.  Kiersey Clemons as Samantha has future star written all over her, and Nick Offerman seems perfectly cast as the frustrated musician running a failing music store.

My problem is that for a film laden with emotional set-up, there’s just not enough emotional expression or confrontation.  What we really want is some kind of work-through for Frank, with his friend the bartender, his landlord, his daughter, and his mother, but we never get it.  I’m not asking for fireworks, but I’m asking for something, and we don’t even get that. We get setup and kind of an aftermath, and I want this to satisfy, mostly because I have similar problems in my own writing, but it doesn’t.  Also a problem I have in my own writing.

The acting and music are good enough to recommend it but not enough to love it.

7/10
71/100