Lockdown: Blue mood? Blu-Ray.

Saturday was mostly about football. Although I went to bed far too late Friday night, the first game didn’t kick off until past eleven, so I got a fair amount of good sleep.

Watched the games. Made a second pot of kimchi stew. Worked from memory and winged it a little and it came out better. Delicious. I’m adding this to my regular rotation, and some of the ingredients to the regular shopping list, although most of it I always have anyway.

The second game ended late and I was restless, so I got in my car and drove looking for takeout. I didn’t roam very far. As I approached Dillingham I remembered Crush Girl talking about the burger at La Tour Cafe, a popular spot in my hood I’ve only eaten at like twice. I don’t know why.

Restless and moody, I should say. I don’t know why this comes over me out of nowhere sometimes, especially at dusk. I was getting really down as I drove, and I worried that I was trying to stanch the flow of feelings with food or with spending money, which I have usually found to be stopgaps, although if it’s just regular moodiness maybe a stopgap is all I need.

Got there two minutes before they closed, and ordered a burger with garlic fries, and a soybean kouign amann. The burger is good. I recommend it. Not my favorite kind of fries but they were good enough. The kouign amann was quite good for a pastry that probably sat in the display case for more than twelve hours. Honestly, they should have just given it to me.

As I ate, I watched Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage, a documentary by Sam Dunn, whose work I love. This film’s eleven years old and I only saw it Saturday night. It moved me deeply. I got misty a few times. I can’t express enough how much I love this band, and how sad I am that Neil Peart died last year. It was so cool to see this group talking about itself and tracing its history. The archival material is unbelievable: video and photos from the band’s earliest days when they were high-school students.

One of my favorite things about this film is the parts where great musicians talk about how much they love Rush, sharing their stories of how they discovered Rush, and the influence Rush has had on them. Taylor Hawkins, Mike Portnoy, Sebastian Bach, Jack Black (yes, he’s a musician!), Vinnie Paul, Gene Simmons. So cool to see the due respect paid to one of my favorite bands.

Those very real feelings of nostalgia and love for this band I’ve adored since I was a teen (my first concert was a Rush show at age 15) banished the moodiness for the night, I’m pleased to say. I’m writing this here mostly to help me remember. This DVD is from Netflix, but I’ve already got the Blu-Ray in my Amazon cart. If it’s good for moodiness, eleven bucks is penny-money.

I did a few chores and cleaned up a little, then finished The List of Things That Will Not Change. Good book. I’ll write my review Sunday while I’m watching the games.

Stayed up pretty late, getting to bed at around three. I can’t explain it but I went to bed feeling more peace than I have in a very, very long time. Why? Where did this come from? It can’t just be a good burger and a DVD about Rush. I’m wondering if it was fake peace, just an illusion. But it’s lasted; I’m still feeling it as I write this nearly ten hours after going to bed.

I get worried when I’m not worrying or bummed. There must be something I should be worried about, or something to be bummed about. Yet here I am, typing about peace while I watch the last of the week’s football games. Even after a contentious text exchange with someone, which I will document when I write about Sunday.

I should make a list of things that work.

Crush Girl and I exchanged some smalltext, but in the evening I thanked her for the La Tour recommendation. I sent JB an IG photo of some dishes from a new, local saimin spot to give him ideas. For Christmas, I sent him a couple of boxes of Sun Noodle saimin to share with his family. I texted Sharon and Lauren, two coworkers, to ask if we should play buzzword bingo again at our all-staff meeting in March. Lauren, who won last time and is super competitive, said yes, of course. This led to some group-texting about football, Seahawks fans, and The Bachelor.

Resolutions, next post. I mean it this time.

Reach out if you need someone to connect with. Assuming I’m not in one of my doom-funks, I’ll be happy to talk you off your own ledge. Or send you food porn photos.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.