Lockdown: Conflict from con-text

Sunday was quite a bit like Saturday. The first football game started a little earlier, but I think I also fell asleep slightly earlier and got something like five and a half hours with Darth Vader, waking up only once in the middle. Decent.

The games weren’t very interesting, so I worked on several things while they were on. I think I had a slice of pie for breakfast. For lunch, I made a broccoli and brussels sprouts soup from a recipe in the Washington Post. In the Instant Pot. Prep was simple, ingredients were simple (broccoli, Brussels sprouts, coconut milk, lime juice ginger, garlic, salt), and cook time was about 25 minutes unattended. I chopped some orange bell pepper for garnish, which wasn’t the best choice for this soup. I added a lot more lime juice and a bit more salt when it was done, then splashed some rice vinegar in, about halfway through my first bowl.

It was decent. Not great. But lots of potential, and I like the simplicity and quick cooking time. I have three more cans of coconut milk, so there will be more soup in the near future. One can is saved for mochi, which I hope to make at the end of the week.

After the games, I drove to the office to update software, picking up chicken katsu from Grace’s on the way in. I meant to start thank-you cards but I was just too lazy. Did some housekeeping and emails, then requested some medical leave for blood work next week and some vacation for a little beach time this week and next.

Got home around 10:30 in the evening and did some writing. The review of The List of Things That Will Not Change came together quickly, and I meant to keep it kind of short, but it took a while to get it done. I kept getting distracted, and took a few lie-down-in-bed-and-stare-at-my-phone breaks. Which I kind of want to do right now.

I spent quite a while reading the news (and commentary), and I don’t know what I did with my time, but I didn’t lie down for bed until about four. Yikes.

Sunday morning when I woke up, Ali texted, asking me not to send _____ texts anymore. Which is fine. Except I hadn’t. The thing I sent her was very far, far away _____ and I explained it. This did not lead to mended feelings. Feelings were made worse, on both sides. I totally sympathize: _____ was something I wasn’t aware I was doing until we discussed it a couple of weeks ago. But now I was being asked not to do _____ and I didn’t in fact do _____, and I was still getting raked for it. Ugh. I hate to say it, but I think I need to back off this relationship’s growth, which I suppose may have been a one-way effort. Maybe the friendship is good enough right where it is.

I may just small-text with her for a while until we find our groove again. When we click, we communicate so well. When we’re off it’s utterly miserable. Argh. Argh. Argh.

I’m taking deep breaths as I write this. If someone you care about asks you not to do _____ and you don’t do it, but it’s mistaken for _____ (I’m not talking about interpretation here; I’m talking factually not doing _____ but mistaken for doing _____) of course the person’s feelings are going to be terribly hurt, and correcting the error doesn’t change it. I know. Something I did caused her to be upset. But I didn’t do it, so where am I supposed to go with this? I mean, why be upset with me? Ugh.

I’m letting it go. It’s worked when we’ve had miscommunication in the past. At least my last words to her were I’m sorry. If it’s over, I’ll be glad it ended on those words.

I had nicer texts with Crush Girl, sorta. Some of it was about this texting problem with Ali.

The power just went out. I’m typing this on laptop battery power. Inconvenient. It’s getting close to bed time and I hate going to bed when the power’s out at night. I don’t mind during the day, but I just think something bad could happen and I want to be awake for it. I might go for a drive if this keeps up. Or keeps down.

Resolutions, next post.

Leave a comment if you need someone to connect with, although the way things are going lately you might not want to reach out to me. Based on recent interactions. Sigh.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.