Lockdown: Playing with myself evaluation

It’s just past 1:00 in the morning Friday (so, late Thursday night) as I write about Tuesday. It’s been that kind of a few days and I’ve probably lost quite a bit of them but I’m going to do what I can. The Lockdown Chronicles must be as complete as possible for the archaeologists who dig up our bones and journals in civilizations of future millenia.

My mid-year self-evaluation wasn’t due until Friday (that is, the day I’m writing this), but my phone meeting to discuss it with my supervisor was Tuesday afternoon, and I didn’t know what stage of completion she wanted to see it in, so I stayed up late trying to finish the UH Hilo scholarship story and the self-eval. I made almost zero progress on the story, but I did draft the self-eval. I take these things seriously, so it took a solid hour to ninety minutes. I think I sent it off at 3:47 in the morning Tuesday.

I already wrote some of this. Anyway yeah. Got to bed at 6:00 Tuesday morning and was up by 9:30.

I had the morning off so I could get some blood drawn. It’d been about a year and a half since my last bloodwork, and my new primary care physician, whom I have not yet met, said she wasn’t going to let me refill my prescriptions this next time if I didn’t get it done. I hadn’t been avoiding it; I think I just got caught between physicians and it wasn’t flagged until I refilled my meds last fall.

I’ve vocally (and typographically, in this space) expressed my discomfort with visiting the HMO’s main clinic, a block from my office in town, because the number of people in there is just terrifying. Since my first refill sometime late spring, I’ve been getting my meds from the pharmacy at the Mapunapuna clinic. It’s smaller and just a lot less hassle these days.

Anyway, I was in and out. It was incredibly quick and easy, and I came into direct contact with three people the entire ten minutes I was in the building. A nurse to check my temperature before letting me in. A clerk (or something) to check my ID and look up whatever my physician ordered. A nurse or tech or something to draw my blood. No waiting in line. In and out.

Part of my morning plan was to get a burger at King’s Burger in the 99 Ranch food court. It’s the place I tried to go on MLK Day when the food truck in Aiea was a no-go, but it was closed that day.

Aaaaand it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great. Not worth going out of my way for, yet inexpensive and decent enough that I’ll try it again the next time I’m in Mapunapuna. And I expect to be soon. There’s a water-vending machine in front, from the same company whose machine I’ve been using almost every week since the lockdown began. Only this machine is way cleaner. Looks almost like a new machine. It just exudes cleanliness and purity, so I am considering going all the way out there next time I refill my bottles, instead of just over to Liliha Street.

I’d seen the machine on MLK and brought all my bottles Tuesday. Took care of business and was quite pleased. The food court opens at 10 and people don’t really come in worrying numbers until 11 or so. I’m thinking if I get there at 9:45 I can get my water, then breakfast-slash-lunch right when they open the building.

Ate the burger on the trunk of my car, out in the parking lot away from humans.

Got home, took a short nap, and got back to work. The meeting went well — I think my supervisor was pleased with the effort I put into the self-eval. Then I tried to finish the UH Hilo scholarship story and really got nowhere. I suck.

After work I took a nap, of course, then got up to try and finish the story. What I really did was stare at the screen, read the news several times, listen to music, and hate myself for not getting the writing done.

Dinner was kimchi stew. It was yummy.

I stayed up too late and don’t remember why, except I know I was still hopeful I’d write that story. I didn’t.

Got to bed around 2:00.

Texted with Sylvia a bit. Her birthday was Monday but we had crazy rain that night so she celebrated Tuesday and sent me a photo of her dinner. Crush Girl and I texted through the day about a range of stuff, including my breakfast-slash-lunch.

I hate how this UH Hilo story has jammed up my week. Because I don’t get it done during my workday, I try to get it done in my free time, and when I don’t get it done then either, I stay up way too late trying, and then go to bed exhausted and miserable and loaded with self-loathing. It’s like being in college again, except at least there were pretty girls everywhere. Now it’s just me and my loathesome self.

Spoiler alert: Wednesday, which I’ll write about Friday, I guess, was pretty much just like Thursday but with more self-hate.

Anyway. You want a piece of this? Come get it: leave a comment and I’ll send you some contact info and we can text the night away as I pretend to be a writer. Ha.

I’m exaggerating my feelings a bit for the purpose of keeping myself interested in my own words as I type them, but I really am frustrated with myself. However: spoiler alert. As I type this late Thursday night, the stuff has been submitted, and I’m already feeling a bit better. But geez, what a crappy week it’s been until just now.

Friday’s going to be great, and so is the weekend. The new Soen album dropped a few hours ago and it’s killer. My ears are happy, at least.

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