Lockdown: Praying for a quick trip to no-dreamland

Wow. My sleep Saturday night was utter crap. I’m an idiot.

Got out of bed Sunday morning around eleven. Actually a couple of hours earlier but realized there was absolutely nothing keeping me from going back to bed and trying to get two or three hours with Darth Vader, which I did. That part was good but it wasn’t nearly enough.

I needed something to cram into my maw while I considered breakfast-slash-lunch options, so clementines and dried apricots kept me going through the early afternoon before I fried some leftover quinoa with Portuguese sausage, eggs, and some extra sharp cheddar. It was a good meal.

Spent most of the day in front of the computer, trying to get some writing done. I did mostly okay on personal stuff, but I also had this list of work stuff I wanted to get done sometime during the weekend. Guess when I got to to it? Yeah, after twelve Sunday night.

Before that, though, I was having a decent day, as I guess any day when you’re supposed to get some work done but totally ignore it would be.

I did more phone-vegging, kind of loathing myself as I did it, and now I am pretty sure it’s not merely avoidance behavior but the gentle tug of the dark side attempting to suck me in. I’m nowhere near the abyss, but I can hear it. So I pried myself out of the mattress and made dinner.

Cold somen noodles with Pietro’s miso dressing. Man it was delicious. Just the somen noodles by themselves (I usually don’t boil them in salted water but I did this time) were good enough to eat, and for a moment I considered it. The miso dressing is too good to leave on the counter, though. Good, simple, totally unhealthy meal.

After more avoidance behavior — but I don’t consider the daily crossword and Spelling Bee avoidance because they keep my brain sharp — at about half past midnight, I cracked my knuckles and bore down.

Wrote my one-minute writing tip and a short review of Palm Springs for the staff newsletter. Critiqued a video for one of our development officers. Wrote a first draft of one of those student profiles I’m writing. Posted a news release on the website and wrote the social media copy. Submitted it all at 5:30. It was a lot of work and I was pleased to watch the productivity unwind from my brain onto the screen in front of me.

It was satisfying, and it was a sabre held aloft, threatening, at the impinging darkness. Not today, dark side.

I could probably have gone to bed right at 5:30, but instead I had two quesadillas and just vegged. I thought some unwinding was in order. There was a Heineken Light too. I actually popped it open and took a long sip as my somen was cooking, but then I left it in the kitchen and didn’t get back to it until I made those quesadillas. It was warm but I slammed it back and it was the best warm beer I’ve ever had.

At six thirty I collapsed, praying for a mercifully quick trip to no-dreamland.

I think the only other thing I ate Sunday was half of one of those packages of Blue Diamond almonds. The smokehouse ones in like a five-inch tall, narrow package someone threw into a gift bag with my Christmas gift. Writer fuel.

I got one text from Crush Girl Sunday, a quick answer to something I asked Saturday. That was pretty much it, but as you can see it was kind of a busy day so I didn’t notice. Ohhhh I forgot to mention that Saturday I sent Ali a “hey” text just to see if we were still cool. I do not expect to hear back from her. Alas and alack.

Wasn’t in the mood for music, so most of the day and night and early early morning I played podcasts, the kind that can just play in the background without my attention and be nice and comforting, like chatter in a cafe.

Taking a little bit of vacation from work this week in order to get some mental clarity. I can’t give details until late this week, but I’ll get you caught up. Until then these recaps may be slightly vague.

Leave a comment if you need someone to connect with. Half a million people in this country have died from this fricking virus. Our nation is hurting, and even we who have remained mostly untouched by the actual disease are still fighting our own battles. Don’t fight them alone.

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