The viral spiral

Much to my annoyance, I woke up a few hours ahead of my alarm Sunday and didn’t get back to sleep. Put the Packers-Ravens game on and did a few chores, then drove out to the folks’ to hang out and have dinner.

I had a few things I wanted to get done and mostly only got to one of them.

For the first time in a couple of years, I couldn’t bring myself to listen to Meet the Press or This Week with George Stephanopolous. I just couldn’t handle the depressing news. New COVID cases in this state were nearly a thousand for Sunday and I just can’t. I did listen to World News Tonight, but I did not listen to PBS Newshour. I still might, but it’s unlikely.

I’ve caught myself a few times each day this weekend peering into the abyss, gazing into the blackness. It’s hit me deeply and I’ve pulled back, but yikes. I feel myself spiraling slowly. Why does the darkness call me, and why do I kind of want to go in there?

I’m almost certain it’s COVID-related. Even the stuff that’s not (like stress about my car and small concerns about cashflow) sort of is.

I think for the next couple of days, I’m going to spend my downtime taking care of Christmas stuff. That seems to make me feel okay most of the time, but it’s also making me wistful because I think Christmas weekend is going to be when things get really terrible.

Breakfast was overnight oats and the rest of that salad from Jolene’s. Yum and yum. Lunch (actually dinner) was a sushi platter from Genki Sushi, shared with my parents. Good stuff. Dinner was a couple of quesadillas I probably shouldn’t have and definitely didn’t need. I snacked on some beef jerky and a handful of fried pork rinds.

Didn’t listen to much music because of football. I have the Dan Le Batard Show podcast on the speakers right now but I’m only kind of listening.

I’m kind of looking forward to work this week. I have a few interesting things to work on, plus it’s a short week. Oh, and Monday afternoon I have an appointment to have my vision tested for new glasses. My benefits give me a certain amount each calendar year for glasses, and I missed last year because of the stupid lockdown. This year, it’s been super difficult to get an appointment, but here we go. With ten days to spare before the year ends. I want new specs, whether I need them or not.

I annoyed Crush Girl and she’s not really speaking to me. Sigh.

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