Misty Williams owns a tea café in an artsy coastal town, many of whose residents make their living on sales of their paintings and sculptures. There is only one gallery in town, and it’s owned by a grouchy, demanding woman named Hilary Short, the sort of woman who makes Misty remake her tea three times before she’s satisfied with its temperature. She’s already the least popular person in town; now that she’s increasing the gallery’s percentage on art sales, there are many who wouldn’t mind seeing her die, as some of Misty’s regulars do when she drops dead after a taste of her order. Misty takes it upon herself to figure out where the poison that kills Hilary came from.
The Art and Craft of Murder is a seven-chapter, forty-eight page, direct-to-ebook cozy mystery by someone who calls herself Cozy Cat Parker. Her author page at the publisher’s website doesn’t say anything meaningful or interesting, and the full title of the novella as it’s listed in ebook stores reeks of obnoxious search engine optimization. I don’t want to insinuate that self-published ebooks are usually amateurish, but so rinky-dinky does this operation appear that the summary of this title on Amazon calls the murder victim “Hilary Small.” I was certain this short work would be sloppily edited, with mediocre writing at best and no discernible characters. I was kind of wrong. The editing is sloppy, and the writer frequently uses four words where one will do, as with this sentence:
Because as much as there are those of us who’s blood begins to boil at the very thought of Hilary Short, she also has her fan club too.
There are at least three things wrong with this sentence (“who’s,” “also…too,” and wordiness that sounds like the writing of a high-schooler), but even through this, Parker (whoever he or she is) has a decent voice with a fair sense of the flow of language, and her main character is surprisingly likeable. There’s no room in forty-eight pages for much development of secondary characters, or any of the colorful details that make cozy mysteries especially enjoyable, so things stick tightly to the mystery itself, but there’s a time and a place for a quick mystery you can knock off in one lazy evening, and that’s what I did, and there are worse ways to spend Saturday night. This title is free on Amazon, so I certainly got my money’s worth, and I can see myself spending the ninety-nine cents to three dollars listed for the others in this series, given the right weekend weather.
A Clue for the Puzzle Lady
by Parnell Hall (2000)
The murdered body of an unknown girl is found in a cemetery in the middle of the night. She holds a slip of paper on which is written what appears to be a crossword puzzle clue, so police chief Dale Harper brings it to Cora Felton, a newcomer to Bakerhaven (Connecticut) who publishes a national newspaper column called The Puzzle Lady. Cora is a fall-down drunk with a nose for a mystery, and soon Dale, Cora, and the Puzzle Lady’s niece Sherry Carter are in pursuit of a killer who seems to be toying with them, who doesn’t stop at just one victim. An aggressive newspaper reporter with something to prove, pushy TV camera crews, a teenaged girl with a theory of her own, a violent ex-boyfriend, and a community not so far impressed with the police chief’s work race toward either uncovering the murderer or getting away with it.
In pleasantly short chapters with shifting third-person points of view, Parnell Hall creates an engaging, difficult-to-put-down story with well-defined characters in a story that’s easy to follow but difficult to predict. I’ve been on a bit of a cozy mystery bender lately, and while the genre tends toward a certain sameness (which I am not a complaining about), here is one that stands out stylistically, taking a noticeably different path to its end. While certain linguistic tics take some getting used to (there are a couple of sentence structures that drove me crazy until midway through), A Clue for the Puzzle Lady is the first novel in the genre that had me wishing I could dive immediately into the rest of the series. Although an appreciation for crossword puzzles isn’t necessary for thorough enjoyment, puzzle devotees will find an extra layer of involvement, a kind of challenge within the whodunit challenge that’s extra-engaging. And a lot fun. Highly recommended for mystery lovers.
4 of 5 stars (I really liked it).
In an effort actively to seek a little more happiness, I spent some time a year ago identifying things that make me happiest. I don’t know if the three things I came up with are the whole list, but they’re a good list.
- Swimming at the beach
- Attending concerts by musicians I like
- …there’s a third, but I can’t remember it
Man, that number three is a bummer. I am sure I have the whole list written down somewhere. Need to find it.
So anyway. Number two. I’ve got a write-up of my concert experiences last year, but I need to find good accompanying photos, and I’ve been without my laptop for a couple of weeks because of a broken charger. I have a replacement now, so hopefully I’ll get on that soon.
I’ve missed too many shows for too many stupid reasons, including not having anyone to go with and not having enough money to go. The car situation is another huge issue and another stupid reason. Last year, I decided I’d just make it work, even if it meant instant ramen and oatmeal for a few weeks.
Although it didn’t really sustain an overall happiness I kind of hoped for, the happiness in the moments themselves (and in the post-concert glow, which lasted at least a full day afterward) was totally worth it.
This year, more of the same, I think. Finances are a bit more restrictive this year than last, but I think I can still make it work.
I’m seeing Megadeth in a couple of weeks. I’m not a huge fan, really. However, I’m a fan of the genre, and I’ve already seen two of the Big Four of thrash metal (Metallica and Slayer), so Megadeth, whose original lineup included a guy from Hawaii, seems like a must-see, if only because it sets up Anthrax as the last of the Big Four I’ll need in order to complete the set.
They’re a good band. Or they were. I’m not sure if they still are, although the lineup right now features some guys I’ve always liked from other bands, including a guitarist from Angra. I’m a little confused because my favorite album from them, Risk, is everyone’s least favorite Megadeth album. Still, the venue is good and I love a good metal show.
A month after that is Of Monsters and Men. Yeah, boy. That’s going to be a great show.
I saw Tony Trischka last weekend, and he was fantastic. This fan’s humble opinion is that he’s the second-best living banjo player on the planet (Bela Fleck is the first), so the chance to see him in the tiny studio at the local public radio station was too good to pass up. When someone is that excellent at something (almost anything!), it’s a blessing to watch him or her do it. There’s an amazing self-assured air about people like this (is it from decades of performing it in front of others?). I want that. I want to approach anything with that kind of confidence and self-awareness.
I can’t even walk to the corner without being self-conscious.
One Foot in the Grove
By Kelly Lane (2016)
She’s known nationwide as the Runaway Bride, a Boston public relations expert who left her popular TV weatherman fiancé at the altar in a viral video that shows her in an unflattering light. In order to get away from the flurry of media attention, Eva Knox returns to her family’s plantaion inn in Abundance, Georgia, to help run her father’s new olive grove, and to market its award-winning olive oils. Her sisters Pep and Daphne welcome Eva back, but not everyone in the small town is happy to see her: eighteen years ago, she left her first fiancé at the altar, and fled Abundance for Boston.
The last thing anyone in this story needs at this stressful time is for someone on the paid staff to be murdered right at the edge of the olive grove, but that’s what they get, and as Eva tries to sort things out, her life may also be at risk. Our heroine has a cute puppy, a handsome sheriff, and all kinds of personal issues to deal with, and because she seems remarkably resilient even while privately going through boxes of Kleenex in her cabin behind the inn, she’s easily embraced by the reader.
There’s lots of local flavor here, with enough description of Eva’s hometown and its people to give the novel all the color it needs. Author Kelly Lane mostly saves the olive oil talk for later in the series. I do want to know as much as I can about olive trees and olive oil from a character who is now immersed in this world, but I can wait, because Lane’s already won me over with good characters and a really well-paced narrative. I suspect it doesn’t take a lot to assemble the ingredients for a good series in this genre, but I know it takes a good writer to keep me engaged this well, especially given the interesting timeline the plot sticks to, which I will not spoil. I’m perfectly fine with a writer who sticks to the formula; how nice instead to find one who can really put a story together, too. More, please.
I’m still getting caught up on film reviews from 2015. 2015 music thoughts are pretty close to done.
Saw the Super Bowl at my folks’ house, where my father and I both accurately predicted the Broncos would win. I hate the Broncos: they are my second-least-favorite team ever, but I love Peyton Manning, so of course I’ve been rooting all season for him to get his second ring. It wasn’t a great game, but I thought it was okay, and I enjoyed seeing Peyton hoist that trophy once more.
Now it’s the dry season between the end of football and the beginning of baseball, and as I have for the past couple of years, I welcome it. I need my Sundays back, and I need some time to make adjustments to my routine. I’ve been kind of looking around for a church option that doesn’t involve Sunday mornings or dealing with people I know. I have a few things on the list of consideration, but in order to make room for them, I need to slide something else into that Sunday slot that has been dominated for six months by football.
I was wandering in the downtown area Wednesday when, on Punchbowl Street, I saw an obviously homeless woman on the steps of the DOE building (I don’t think it’s called that or even if that’s what it is, but Don works for the DOE and his office is in that building). I was taking a photo of a cool little sculpture over the doorway when she approached me. She was nearly incoherent, just kept dropping the ends of her sentences in a way that made it impossible for me to tell what she wanted. She got frustrated, so I put my hand on her arm and said, “Listen. I want to help you, but you’re not telling me what I can do for you. Slow down, and let’s talk.”
She didn’t have shoes. She wanted to get a bus to the homeless shelter on the other end of town. I knew where it was, but I said, “You’re asking about the men’s shelter. You don’t want to go to the women’s shelter?” She said no; she’d been assaulted in the women’s shelter.
“Will they let you into the men’s shelter?”
“They will for meal time. And they will give me some flip-flops.”
Ah. It made sense now. It actually sounded like a reasonable plan. She needed me to escort her to the bus stop because she was afraid of being assaulted again. She took my arm, like I was walking to dinner, and we strode slowly past the gate to the governor’s mansion.
A few feet past the gate, she said, “Please just keep walking that way and don’t look back. I need to pee.”
She was hiking her dress up before she was done speaking, so of course I turned and walked slowly. I took the moment to get $3.50 out of my pocket.
“Here’s bus fare and an extra dollar, in case. Get on the 19 or 20.”
She thanked me. I didn’t stick around. Hope she made it.
Betsy Russell, Kristi Somers. Directed by Herbert Freed.
I’m not proud of having watched this, but in my years-long quest to see movies I wanted to watch but didn’t get to when I was a kid, there are going to be at least a few films that appealed to my baser instincts. Those instincts are still there, stronger in my memory than in my current, diminished-libido reality, and in some ways, I’m glad I crossed this one off my list, and I look forward to crossing off several more.
You’ve probably seen Betsy Russell before: she was the topless horseback rider in Private School (the Phoebe Cates film), and so when you see her name first on the movie poster, you kind of know why you’re paying to see the movie. She’s going to take her shirt off, and it’s going to be glorious, although she’s been in five of the Saw movies, and I don’t think this is true of those films. In any case, hats off to her for the length of her career. She’s earned any success she has.
In Tomboy, which may be her only starring vehicle, Russell plays Tommy, a mechanic who plays basketball with the boys, rides her dirt bike with the boys, and fixes cars better than any of the boys. She may be a tomboy in her interests, but she’s still a woman, and when she meets the race car driver whose poster decorates her garage, she gets pretty star-struck. She and her best friend Seville get invited to a party with the driver and the owner of his car, and a romance is born. But it becomes clear that to her new boyfriend, she’s a good driver and mechanic “for a girl,” and this doesn’t sit well with her. So of course, a race is arranged: Tommy driving her car, and her boyfriend driving his.
This is a terrible movie in which nobody behaves like a real person with any brains, but there are a few decent laughs. Seville wins a job as a spokesperson for a doughnut shop, and she’s paid in doughnuts rather than cash. The image of her convertible loaded with doughnut boxes is visually funny. Come to think of it, that might be the only laugh. Oh well.
X’s and O’s (2007)
Clayne Crawford, Judy Marte, Warren Christie, Sarah Wright, John Wynn, Lynn Chen. Written and directed by Kedar Korte.
I think one of the reasons I responded so positively to Ride Along 2 is that I’d seen so many indie films immediately before it that big-budget lighting, sound, editing, and cinematography, were a shock to my system. I’d forgotten how good a movie could look and sound. Even with mediocre content, the packaging was so nice, I was pleased just to experience it with likable actors. I wouldn’t say that Kevin Hart is necessarily a better actor than anyone in X’s and O’s or its ilk, but I imagine the actors in the Hollywood film had more rehearsal time and as many takes as needed to satisfy the director’s vision.
This is not to say that X’s and O’s is technically bad, but boy, is it noticeably indie.
Simon is crazy about Jane, but Jane has him friend-zoned so completely that when they say good night after dinner and drinks, she embraces him, kisses him right next to his mouth, and licks him a few times before they separate. His roomie Lorenzo doesn’t have this problem: he’s waking up next to a different woman every morning, although it seems the one he really wants is an ex who wants nothing to do with him. Meanwhile, one of their friends has a girlfriend but treats her like property while driving everyone crazy with exaggerated, faux hip-hop speech and mannerisms.
Simon has friend-zoned a fellow graduate student named Trese, who looks a lot like young Jennifer Lopez, which is interesting because Simon looks like young Ray Liotta. Trese is hung up on Simon, but she’s got a few issues of her own, mostly in the way men treat women in romantic relationships.
This is a lot of characters to juggle, and the script mostly handles it well. The problem with this film is that its semi-interesting characters don’t find enough interesting stuff to talk about or do, then they turn out not to be interesting either, and not very likable. Add an element that I find tiresome (slam poetry), and some strange stuff in a Christian dorm, and the whole thing is just kind of a dreary, annoying slog. If my power had gone out before it was done, I’m not sure I would have cared, and the only thing that kept me mildly engaged is the prettiness of the actresses.
Unless you’re trying to do what I’m doing (seeing everything Lynn Chen is in), take a pass on this one.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
Harrison Ford, John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Oscar Isaac, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill. Directed by J.J. Abrams.
It’s thirty years after the fall of the Empire, and out of its ruins has risen the First Order, working on a new weapon of destruction. The First Order’s military leader is Kylo Ren, a tortured, possibly crazed villain with a chip on his shoulder. The Resistance, led by General Leia Organa, receives word of long-missing Jedi Luke Skywalker’s whereabouts. With the assistance of Han Solo, the resistance seeks to destroy the new weapon, defeat Kylo Ren, and find Luke.
Against this backdrop emerge three new heroes: Poe, the best X-Wing fighter in the Resistance. Rey, an orphaned scavenger who appears to be much more. And Finn, a. deserting Storm Trooper moved by his conscience to assist Rey.
Clearly, it is J.J. Abrams’s goal to bring the Star Wars fandom back aboard the LucasFilm train, reminding it of all the reasons it loves the first three films while making amends for the errors of the second three films’ ways. He does this, with more than an adequate number of callbacks to the first trilogy. He also builds a reasonable transition into the new reality of possibly limitless sequels, tributaries, and spin-offs under the franchise’s new Disney umbrella.
The Force Awakens accomplishes all of these, and although Abrams goes back to the A New Hope well more times than necessary, his new characters are compelling and charismatic in ways that the first movie never attempted. Rey and Finn are people I want to root for, people I want to get to know. They’re tinged with mystery and fun to watch. I haven’t yet read any reviews of the film, but I imagine negative reviews will say themes are not merely derivative, but repetitions of those in the previous trilogies, at worst a recycling of stuff we’ve seen before. It’s a valid criticism. Still, I hope these next two films will take the momentum and goodwill from the public response to this one, and run in new directions. There’s no reason what comes next must necessarily mimic The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi, and with the vast expanse of untapped creative territory at its disposal, it could be no time at all before we’re forgetting all about midi-chlorians, Ewoks, and Jar-Jar Binks.
Action sequences, except for one beautiful, nostalgic trip in the Millennium Falcon, are so-so: interesting but not thrilling. Weaponry and spacecraft aren’t a huge departure from the earlier films, but this is only thirty years after Return of the Jedi, so that doesn’t bother me much. A new droid, BB-8, is kind of a neat next-wave of R2-D2 technology. Effects are effective without being distracting, and there is a determined lack of CGI porn, thank goodness. The score, composed once again by John Williams, is perhaps one of the best things about this film. It’s the best score in the series since Empire, almost sure to win an Oscar this year.
This is just the warm-up act for what could very well be an impossible return to glory for a series nearly wrecked by its own creator. I have a good feeling about this.
I’m having some difficulty with the work schedule. I gave in to my vampire tendencies last week, and I was much happier, but I wasn’t more productive. I still need to produce, and I produce best almost anywhere but home.
I just think that if this is a long-term kind of situation, I need to learn to work within the four walls of my domicile. It’s impractical to keep going to tea cafes or coffee shops. I’m going to try it again this coming Monday, maybe compromising on the hours a little, and still getting out of the house in time to put in some good, productive hours wherever I can wring them out of myself.
The walking is nearly habituated. I get the itch to get up and get out at about 9:00 every night, and I’m usually out for three hours or so, unless I’m already out trying to get work done, in which case I just pack my stuff up and head homeward. I’m missing a lot of television, but honestly, I’m not missing it that much. I haven’t seen the new X-Files episodes yet, and pretty much miss anything that’s not football. Even when I’m home, I’ve tended more to listen to podcasts than to watch TV, because I can listen to them while I’m moving about, doing chores or whatever. I can’t do that with television.
I’ve also been watching more stuff on Prime, on the tablet during stolen moments of free time.
The cord for my laptop charger broke last week, another thing that’s put a damper on my productivity. I’m doing almost all my writing on the tablet now, which isn’t too bad when I’m just writing, but when I’m trying to assemble material, it can be a pain. There’s a replacement cord on its way (less than five bucks, and shipping’s free with Prime), so hopefully I’ll be back on Akemi (that’s her name) before another week’s up.
I hit a doldrums with my novel-writing during the Christmas break, and the laptop situation hasn’t helped. I’ve sorta carved out Monday evenings for personal creative writing, but that hasn’t caught on yet, with all the strange variations in my schedule lately, plus the laptop situation. *sigh*
I still know who I want to be as a writer, and YA novels are the space I want to be in. However, I’ve also been toying with the idea of attempting something in the “cozy mystery” sub-genre. I wonder if I could do that for a YA audience. Cozy YA mystery. Hm. Might have to bounce this off someone.
Muppets Most Wanted (2015)
The usual Muppets with Ricky Gervais and Tina Fey. Directed by James Bobin.
We’re doing a sequel! That’s what we do in Hollywood
And everybody knows that the sequel’s never quite as good!
We’re doing a sequel! How hard can it be?
We can’t do any worse than Godfather Three!”
Clearly, I am going to have to revisit The Muppets, the much-heralded Muppetational return to the big screen that I only felt so-so about, because Muppets Most Wanted made me feel all the things I hoped to feel in that film, but did not. This is a Muppets movie through and through, one to give every fan hope for a potentially limitless future in these post-Henson, post-Oz years. Everything is here: cameos galore, sight gags, tributes to classic films, stupid puns, awesome puns, new Muppets, old Muppets, huge musical numbers, memorable songs, and massive self-awareness.
The film picks up right where The Muppets left off, with Kermit, Piggy, Scooter, Fozzie, and Gonzo wondering what they should do next. The answer, of course, is a sequel, and they immediately launch into a new song, “We’re Doing a Sequel,” with help from Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga. And the Muppetness just keeps going. The company meets with its new agent, Ricky Gervais as Dominic Badguy (“It’s pronounced bah-jee. It’s French”), who promises sold-out houses in all the major cities in Europe. Although Kermit is reluctant to commit when the Muppets have been out of practice for so long, his friends see dollar signs and adventure, so he goes along with Dominic’s plan.
Kermit bears an uncanny resemblance to the world’s most-wanted international criminal, and a mistaken identity situation (an old Muppets standby!) lands Kermit in a Russian gulag (administered by Tina Fey wonderfully affecting the worst Russian accent in movie history) while his doppelgänger disguises himself as Kermit, assuming an uncharacteristic hands-off management style his friends welcome, even while they’re puzzled by it.
I only have a couple of quibbles with this film. First, there’s not enough Kermit, because of that mistaken identity situation. The bulk of the action, by necessity, must follow the Muppets with their fake leader, which means that even Kermit’s scenes in the gulag are less than satisfying, because of course Kermit is at his best when he’s with his friends. Also, there’s really not enough of the old Muppets (although there is a surprising vocal solo line from Lou Zealand), something the film is aware of and even comments on. That’s pretty funny, but it doesn’t fix the problem. With all the exploding, they couldn’t find a quick line for Crazy Harry?
The songs are somewhat less than awesome, and while my expectations are unreasonably high, that bar was set by the Muppets themselves–where is there a less-than-awesome song in The Muppet Movie? The exception is Miss Piggy’s “Something So Right,” with an assist by Celine Dion and solo lines by most of the Electric Mayhem. That one is unusually pretty for a Piggy song, and easily the soundtrack’s highlight.
The film does almost everything else wonderfully, including a Muppet Show opening in Spanish. If that doesn’t bring a wistful tear to your eye and a warm laugh, I question your American-ness, sir or ma’am. And there is a reflective moment when Kermit, who has always hinted at a deep-rooted sadness and longing beneath his layer of green optimism (it’s what makes him so wonderful, that depth of character that Mickey Mouse and his friends never seem to pull off), expresses hurt and disappointment when he realizes his friends didn’t notice he was missing for so long. Oh, Kermit. How do you keep forgiving us?
Honestly, I can’t think of a recent movie that takes me so effectively to my childhood, that hits all the buttons exactly in the right way. This is what we call the Muppet Show.