chalkdust

I gotta make this a fast one because it’s 10:45 and I’m trying to get to bed before 11:30.

Work wasn’t very productive. I’m trying to finish a proposal I’ve been working on with a fundraiser since October, and this last revision is substantial. It’s been mostly little adjustments here and there over the months, but this last suggestion is almost a restructuring of the case I’m presenting. I’m not discouraged, but the work requires some sustained focus I wasn’t able to give today, ‘though I tried to power through it.

Breakfast: overnight oats.
Lunch: cold pizza (yum!).
Dinner: fried bread made with the sourdough starter discard. I’ll explain later.
All those carbs meant there was no need for snacking. Boy do I need to get some greenery in me soon.

I’m skipping the walk tonight for a good reason, which I will share Friday.

I traded texts with Crush Girl (more talk about stuff we’re cooking) and Sylvia (also more talk about stuff we’re cooking). JB messaged me to ask why all the mainland sports commentors pronounce Tua Tagovailoa’s name with an /n/ sound between the first A and the G. I explained it to him.

Stuff you learn when you go to a high school founded by missionaries.

These past couple of days I’ve been doing more work while playing music through the laptop’s onboard speakers. I usually hate listening this way, but the low-grade audio has actually been beneficial; easy not to be distracted by it but audible enough to keep my distractibility down, which is its main function. Listened mostly to Power of Omens’s Rooms of Anguish (2003) and Presto Ballet’s The Lost Art of Time Travel (2008). Good stuff. I have a Power of Omens tee that used to be my main concert tee. People at metal shows used to ask about it.

The first round of the NFL draft was today. Because there haven’t been any sports for more than a month, this is huge for anyone craving something sports-related. It got me all amped for the NFL season, which I don’t think is going to happen. Such a tease, but I’ll admit I’m willingly teased.

I spent a ridiculous amount of money ordering face coverings online this evening. The ones I ordered on IG could take months; I honestly have no idea when I’m getting them, if at all. Late last week, I ordered a few masks on Amazon and from another online seller, but those look like they’re getting here the first week of June. So I hit Etsy, where there was no lack of sellers.

I spent a lot of money, because it looks like this is going to be part of everyday attire for some time. If I’m going to wear them as often as I wear work shirts, once we get back to the office, I don’t want to get whatever, and it makes sense to spend what it takes, within reason, to make me happy. So, you know. Harry Potter. Lord of the Rings. Las Vegas Raiders. A lot of skulls. Some sellers promised shipping within three business days, which I can definitely live with. The others will ship within a week or two.

In my browsing, I saw masks that two coworkers would really like, so I bought those too. What says “I care” in these days of the ‘rona more than cute face masks?

Oh holy cow I just realized it’s Friday in every timezone east of here. That means the new Katatonia album, my most-anticipated album this year, is probably on Spotify right now. Katatonia’s The Fall of Hearts is my favorite album of the 2000 to 2009 decade. Okay now I really have to wrap this up and hit the bed. I’m going to put this in my earbuds right now.

There’s also a new Indigo Girls album I’m really looking forward to, but Amy and Emily may have to wait until the weekend for me. New Katatonia!

If something’s got you amped for the weekend and you haven’t got anyone to talk about it with, don’t be lonely. Reach out. I’d like to hear about it. And if nothing’s got you amped, I’d like to hear about that even more. Seriously.

Yay. I rolled out of bed in better spirits if not (again) on quite enough sleep. Work was slow but I guess it moved okay. Called one of the fundraisers to get info on one of our donors, a retired schoolteacher I’m writing a story about. Sent out some emails. Outlined another story. It was nice not to have to work so urgently on stuff. It’s kind of the work day I needed.

My 10:30 Zoom meeting became a 10:00 phone meeting. My weekly face-to-face with my supervisor. It went well. We both had bad days Tuesday and debriefed a little Wednesday morning. I may have lent her a little bit of help, and she definitely helped me.

Breakfast was overnight oats. And I sent out for pizza for lunch. No-contact delivery. I left a small folding table just outside the carport. Ordered and paid for the pizza online. Delivery guy left it on the table. I kind of nibbled at the pizza all day, so it was lunch and dinner.

In the midst of my bad day Tuesday, I put in one of my M*A*S*H DVDs. Season seven. I’ve seen all these episodes a million times, but as you know, it’s my favorite show of all time. Still brings me joy. Still moves me. Yet I’m so familiar with it that I can just have it on and still focus on work. The effect was therapeutic.

One episode, not one of the good ones in one of the show’s better seasons, has a killer payoff, one that always leaves me in tears. I’ll spare you the summary, but Charles Winchester receives an unexpected Christmas gift, something from home. The gift was Father Mulcahey’s idea. Charles rushes over to him, hands him a wad of cash to give to the orphanage, and says,

You saved me, father. You lowered a bucket into the well of my despair, and you raised me up to the light of day.

Nobody in the show waxes poetic better than Winchester. I think my favorite episodes are almost all the ones where something hits that button in him.

I did almost no connecting with friends today. It’s okay. There were a couple of late texts with Crush Girl; I reached out to her first, which hasn’t been the case these last few days. Just to let her know I was thinking of her. Sent a text to Penny to ask what she’s reading, but haven’t heard back. Traded a few IMs with Friday 5 girl.

I did go out for a walk after two nights of not doing it. Got off to a late start, so I only got to 8900 steps before midnight, but went to 7000 after midnight, so not bad. It didn’t feel great, and I went the long way coming back, mostly listening to podcasts. My feet are pretty dang sore.

The pizza was both good for my soul and bad for my soul, mostly because self-loathing is counter-productive. Still, it was nice to have pizza, which I haven’t had for kind of a long time. Tomorrow I need veggies and I need to use up some leftovers.

No time to write about the bees. It’s 3:45 a.m. and I need to get to bed before 4. Hoping to reel in my hours a little at a time to get better control of things.

We’ve got a long road ahead of us, I think, and if that’s getting to you and you don’t have someone to debrief about it with, I encourage you to reach out. We can lower buckets into the wells of each other’s despair and attempt to raise each other up to the light of day. Or we can just talk about the NFL draft. Whatever works.

My first official day working from home was March 19, just a few days past a month ago. Today the mayor of Honolulu extended his stay-home order to the end of May. This is not the reason I had my first real down day of the lockdown, but it’s an interesting confluence of events.

I just looked up confluence to make sure I was using it correctly. Journaling is educational.

Forced to point the finger of blame, I’d say the likely culprit is severe sleep deprivation combined with falling behind on work. I’m not feeling bad about anything really; it’s just a general lousy feeling. It doesn’t make sense, either, because I’ve got a lot to be joyful about.

If it continues, I’ll delve further, but for tonight I think it’s just good to acknowledge it and hope it passes. One bad day in over a month is something to be grateful for.

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Somewhere along the line
Well I know it’s just a matter of time
When the fun falls through and the rent comes due
Somewhere along the line
Well you know I love my woman
And I’d never let her down
And I did my share of loving when I used to get around
Now I’m satisfied and she is looking fine
But you pay for your satisfaction
Somewhere along the line

That’s “Somewhere Along the Line” by Billy Joel, from his Piano Man album (1973). Just popped into my head now so I sang it and shared some lyrics. Stream of consciousness, baby.

I feel my mood lifting already.

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Tuesday morning is laundry morning, as I guess I mentioned yesterday. I got there half an hour later than planned because I stopped for a quick two errands on the way. I filled up some gallong-sized water bottles at one of those filtered water dispensers at the supermarket. For reasons I don’t want to get into, I can’t drink the tap water at home. My remedy for the past couple of years (that is, since my employment) has been bottled water from Costco. One-point-five-liter bottles at about $.60 a bottle.

But dang it. I am not messing around with Costco until things get closer to normal. The savings are just not worth the risk. And I drink so much water that spending a dollar a bottle (the price at the local drugstores and supermarkets, while affordable, feels too wasteful. I was going to buy a couple of five-gallon bottles and fill those at the dispenser, but the bottles were just not to be had on this island when I looked a few weeks ago.

So I bought some (filled) one-gallon jugs at the supermarket ($2 to $2.50 over a couple of weeks) and I’m filling those. The system’s working pretty well so far, and it’s fifty cents a gallon.

I filled a few bottles since it was on my way, and of course I hit the McD’s drive-through again. I’m not married to it for laundry day, and I’m considering other options. For now it’s just too convenient. Plus, it’s in the same spot as the water.

Two women came into the laundry together about half an hour before I was done. Thankfully they loaded their machines and left. My planned timing is about right. Going to have to make more of an effort to get there at 3.

Breakfast was a Big Mac combo, and it was delicious.

I got home and went to bed — took the morning off from work. It would have been nice to sleep until I was on the clock, but a friend of mine hooked me up with a yeast source. One of the local restaurants is selling uncooked food, to keep its supply line moving at least partially. You place your order, pay online, and drive up the door. They stick your order in your car and you hit it.

Rather than snow crab legs or pork chops in bulk, this unusual offering was a ten-pound sack of all-purpose flour and a one-pound bag of instant-rise yeast for $20. One pound of yeast is a crazy amount, but the price is good, and it’s difficult to find flour in the supermarkets when I go, which is half an hour before closing.

I had to do the pickup early this afternoon, which meant not as much sleep as I probably needed. Now that the stay-home order is extended, though, I’m happy I have the goods.

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Running on a couple of days of not-nearly enough sleep is rough. Not only am I behind on my work, but I’m behind on knowing what my work is. I was suuuuper ineffective and inefficient at my desk all day, so I checked out a little early, took a nap, and got down to it (after ridiculous amounts of foot-dragging and procrastination). We’re talking just past midnight when I finally went back through all my emails, finished the tasks I could finish (which, honestly, I wasn’t even aware of; that’s how clueless I’ve been), and caught up on the reading for the projects I need to work on next.

I owe a few phone calls. I owe a few emails. I have some serious rolling-up of sleeves and focusing. But I feel like I’ve got it under control, at least. I have a plan.

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I skipped the walk this evening to get there, which is a little bit of a bummer. I’ve already identified the late-night walks as an important part of my mental health in this lockdown. It just made more sense not to go this evening, and to focus on the work. I feel okay about it. I’m actually glad, even though it means two nights in a row without hitting the steps.

Despite my moroseness (I just looked it up, and that’s a word), I enjoyed a few connections. Crush Girl and I did a lot of texting. I started with a photo of my sourdough; she continued with a photo of her cinnamon rolls. Later we talked a little about how, while I’m very grateful to be working at all, I don’t know if I can keep going at what they’re paying me. I’m fine scraping by right now, but my work doesn’t seem to be valuable enough to get me where I need to be by the time I’m approaching retirement.

I was sorry to go down that road; I’m hoping I can blame it on my feeling terrible all day. Late in the day I mentioned the mayor’s extension of stay-at-home. She replied with my favorite words of the day: “Wow. That’s a long time and a lot of bread and pastries to make.”

I actually laughed aloud. It felt good. And yeah: thank goodness I have flour and yeast!

I also had a few text conversations with Sylvia about sourdough, and things you can do with the sourdough starter discard. That’s the part of the starter you throw away when you feed it, to keep it under control.

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Beyond McD’s for an early breakfast, the rest of the day’s eats are kind of a blur. I had a few slices of my sourdough with (mediocre) cheddar and (awesome) black mission fig balsamic vinegar for lunch. And then again for dinner. Simple and satsifying, although I have to say I have to get better with sourdough because after the first few slices, this first loaf is just not great.

When I sat down to work a few hours ago, I was pretty hungry so I had a couple of hot dogs with mustard, ketchup, and sauerkraut. I had two hot dog buns that needed to get finished off soon.

Too tired to write about the bees. I’ll do it sometime Wednesday.

I got through my first bad day, and I’m feeling better now. Sincerely. If you’re having a bad day, or even just a normal day (how do you manage normal? tell me!), please reach out. I’m convinced that interpersonal connection is critical in all this weirdness. If you’re not getting enough connectivity, add me to your web. Let’s talk about it.

Pithing off

Sunday afternoon, when I was in the midst of dealing with the bee stuff (which I’ll get to), our website guy at work emailed to say he had a bunch of videos ready to post. They’re videos from students who’ve received emergency relief, explaining who they are and what their stress is. They all say thank you, too, which isn’t part of what we asked, but it’s nice to hear.

We asked for the videos for our website, so people could see who they’re helping, or who they could be helping. Hopefully this leads to their making a donation to the fund.

Each video on what we’re calling the video wall on our website is given a title and a small introductory blurb. We want both to be compelling enough for a reader to click the item and watch the video.

I have a knack for it, for some reason, something I only learned when I started this job. It’s not exactly anything I’ve ever had to do; at least I don’t think it is. For videos and stories in our email newsletter, I often write the titles and blurbs.

Honestly, I don’t think I’m great at this, but I’m pretty good, if sometimes a little slow.

This is one of the tasks I said early early Monday morning I wanted to get done before bed. I didn’t finish until close to six in the morning. Ugggggh. The fact that these titles and blurbs would all be on the same page, next to, above, and below one another, means you have to think of each as part of a whole, not a stand-alone thing. So you can’t write, “So and so, a _____ major at This Campus or That Campus, found him/herself in [describe situtation], but thanks to you, he/she will ______ on his/her journey to a degree.”

I mean, you can, but you can’t write it for all of them. Some of them have to be something like, “[short emotional phrase from the person’s video].” Some should just summarize something interesting about the person, or unique to the situation. It’s so that when you’re looking at all the videos arrayed on one screen, each looks like its own special thing.

Which it is.

I don’t always have this luxury (if luxury it can be called), but seven videos at once meant the best attack was to watch all the videos first, taking notes that might be useful for the titles and blurbs. The ones I write first are the very difficult ones (the videos that don’t really say anything different) and the easy ones (the ones that say something very different.” Then filling in the rest according to the dictates of variety.

I do the difficult ones first because they’re the ones I use my best weaponry on. The special words laden with aesthetic appeal, and emotional impact. The writer has to be more involved when the story by itself won’t serve my purpose. It’s not that the story is less compelling or less urgent or less meaningful. It’s that the person, for any of a million reasons, doesn’t make the case well, so the writer makes it for the person.

Boring work stuff, I know, but I’m putting it out there in case it’s ever useful for someone reading this someday.

Dough you wanna go my way?

I really wanted to get that stuff done before people showed up for work Monday, since I come in a couple of hours after everyone else. Having it ready meant they could get right to it while I made the long journey from bed to desk.

However, it meant that the stuff I meant to do all weekend had to wait until the workday Monday, and now I was doing it on three hours of sleep. Bleah.

Work is already taxing on my sensitive eyes. It’s doubly so when I’m running on fumes. It’s triply so when I’m doing copy editing.

I got my first task done well ahead of my loose deadline. The second took far longer. I was asked to have it done by 2, but at 5 I was still a short distance from the end, and my eyes were dying. So I sent an apologetic email, took a break from the screen, and finished it off at about 8.

During the break, I made sourdough bread!

I didn’t get the rise I expected. Sylvia has since told me she’s seen online testimony that bread machines don’t allow enough time for sourdough to rise; she sent me some links but I haven’t looked at them yet. Also, I wasn’t very hungry and I was suuuuuper tired and I was planning to wake up at 2:30 to come to the laundry, which is where I’m typing this at 4:27 in the morning. So I got everything ready while my small, dense loaf cooled on a rack, then ripped off a small piece right before bed.

Oh man. The crust is lovely, and the taste is divine. Or maybe as close to divine as can be experiened in my kitchen. It’s a dense, chewy loaf, not at all light or fluffy, which is what I envisioned. But it’s real. Sourdough. Bread. And I made it.

Well, I sorta made it. The bread machine made it. But I didn’t buy it!

I kept thinking of more things I had to do before bed, so ugh. I only got about 3 hours of sleep. Again. However, I’m taking the morning off from work, so I’ll get a little bit more sleep before checking in at noon or one.

No more yankee my wankee! The Donger need food!

Breakfast, which as usual I ate at my desk while catching up on emails, was overnight oats. For lunch, I had to use up the rest of that marinara sauce from a week or so ago, so I made penne in the Instant Pot and stirred in some of that nice blue cheese. I was too tired and too busy to make something new for dinner, so I had it for dinner too. I swear I ate the whole one-pound box of pasta in these two meals, but I had considerable leftovers. It’s weird when you think you’ve eaten far more than you have, which I suppose it preferable to thinking you’ve eaten far less than you have.

I had a few tortilla chips and fresh salsa for a snack, although I can’t seem to remember when.

I skipped the walking, as you might imagine. Mondays are probably going to be my weekly night off from that.

I’m bringing texty back

One of the friends from the engineering firm sent a photo of some ducks who’ve moved onto her property. A friend from work texted me to talk a little about working from home. I asked her what she misses most, and she said eating out. I said I miss sitting in cafes. We talked about some work stuff, then stuff about our respective baking projects. She said nice things about our video wall.

Crush Girl sent me a photo of her workspace at home. She made a few adustments related to something we discussed last week. We talked a little about baking too. Then Sylvia and I traded some texts about sourdough. She’s the friend who gave me the starter, remember. Friday 5 girl IMed me some video links.

Connection-wise, it was enough. Work soaked up most of my day, but somehow I managed to live a normal day as well. Oh yeah, except for sleep.

I’ll have to write about the bees later. My writing partner sent me something to look at, and my clothes are almost done in the dryer. Whatever’s going on in your weird, weird world, I hope at least you’re getting enough sleep. I can’t do anything about that if you aren’t (although, if you’ve read this far, you’re probably already asleep), but I can try to help if you’re not getting connected enough. It’s worth a shot. Please reach out.

Gotta make this a fast one because there are still a few things I want to do before putting a bow on this weekend.

I could have slept until 2 again but I resisted. Got up at 10:30, had breakfast (shoyu chicken and brown rice), read the news, did a few small chores, and took a nap. Woke up for lunch (two hot dogs with mustard, ketchup, and sauerkraut), wrote my Jay and Silent Bob review (see below), watched Borg vs McEnroe again while I worked on reorganizing my workspace, and did some cleaning up in my iTunes.

I think I’m going to put all my CDs in tubs and store them in my big closet. Since I listen to almost all my music via Spotify nowadays, I seldom listen to CDs or even iTunes. However, a lot of my stuff isn’t available on streaming platforms, so I want to make sure whatever isn’t is in my iTunes. I want access to my whole collection wherever possible.

This takes a bit of time, but it’s fun. Good, geeky, musical fun.

Ali sent me a photo of her dog, lying with his head on the carpet next to the book I gave her for Christmas, which she is getting around to reading. We had a nice conversation about the dog, the book, and going to the beach. Crush Girl said she finished reading the book I lended her, and she asked for a photo of the sourdough. She thought I’d baked some already but I was still feeding the starter. I’m hoping to get to the sourdough during my lunch break Monday. Very late, during my walk, my friend Sharon asked me something about someone on LinkedIn. So I had three nice text exchanges with good friends, all initiated by them. I wasn’t feeling very reach-outy, so it was nice.

Also traded a few IMs with Friday 5 girl.

I went for a short walk, knowing I still had stuff to do before bed. I got it to 12,800 steps before midnight (from 8000 already walked in the wee hours) and then another 4500 after midnight, so really only 10,000 steps for the day. During the walk I had dinner, grabbing a double cheeseburger and strawberry shake at McD’s and downing them in the parking lot. There was no snacking for some reason.

Sometime Monday I’m going to write about the bees.

Okie dokie. I’ve run out of things to say for once. Time to get some work done.

Reach out if you’re having difficulty getting through this weird time. I’m good at weird. Let’s talk about it.

Oops. I meant this to be a lot shorter. I’m going to have to split it in two, and deal with the Gen-Xness part later.

I read a lot of business-related writing for my side gig, and nobody is as consistently interesting, accessible, and scholarly as Adam Grant. When Grant publishes, I’m usually all over it. I also follow him on Twitter and I receive his email newsletter, which often includes book recommendations. Good book recommendations.

A few days ago he published, “Yes, Introverts Can Be Lonely Right Now” in the New York Times, a short piece I recommend.

The gist of it is that research indicates the conventional wisdom about extroverts and introverts is not true: extroverts get energized by interaction, but so do introverts. We all get energy from interacting positively with others; introverts merely need a lot less of it. Further, there seems to be a point for introverts beyond which “the emotional benefits fade and costs begin to emerge — introverts start to feel more negative emotions, more exhaustion and less authenticity.”

He doesn’t say this, but I’m saying it now, mostly to repeat what a lot of introverts have said about introversion in the workplace: the working world rewards extroversion, so most of us who are introverts have learned to fake it. We speak up in meetings, we smile and make smalltalk, and we organize the occasional potluck. But if we can get away with it, we still prefer emails to meetings, we sit on the edges of the room when there’s a potluck, and the sooner we can move from “What did you do last weekend?” to “What made you think last weekend?” the better.

Working from home is an adjustment. My own adjustments have less to do with isolation and more with my own challenged attention. My setup in the office cubicle is conducive to my writing, with a comfortable chair, dual monitors lifted considerably above eye-level, an over-enthusiastic air conditioner (I like to be uncomfortably cold when I work), and a selection of visual stimulation decorating my field of vision when I write.

People who have attention issues often work best while music plays. It’s not because the music puts them in certain mind spaces; it’s because the music allows the distractible part of their brains to handle the music while the focused part of their brains does the work. Without music, I hear the clicking of every keyboard, the scratch of every pen on a notepad, and every word of conversation, and my whole brain wants to engage with all of it at once.

Similarly, if I’m looking at my computer screen, it helps my focus if my field of vision includes pleasing stuff. You’ve done some writing at work, so you know how sometimes when the words are difficult to find, you have to look away from the screen. The stuff I see in my cubicle when I look away makes me happy, but it usually doesn’t take me away from the task. I have a small bit of Harry Potter artwork, two day-by-day calendars, a small selection of books I may never read, and some Harry Potter vinyl figures, all a quick glance away. Also stacks of important papers I haven’t filed because I’m a slob, but that’s (I think) a separate issue.

I’m over-explaining my adjustment mostly to say this: a group video call is a good thing. It’s keeping us together in ways I don’t think creators of the technology ever really anticipated. It reminds me of the good people in my department, teammates I respect and like. I would say they’ve become friends. My department has a daily Zoom call at 2:00 every afternoon. Some coworkers in other departments have told me it’s too much, but I find the daily check-in encouraging.

But let’s be honest. Just as the working world values extroversion, making extrovert-like behavior almost a necessity for being recognized or noticed, its use of the Zoom meeting is really an assertion of this these values. Working alone at home just isn’t extroverted enough, so we wedge required extroversion into the structure of a new way of working.

Introverts should be thriving in this new world of work, and I mostly am, considering the adjustments I continue to make by myself. Yet for all its many benefits, the Zoom meeting brings some of an attention-challenged introvert’s least favorite things about work and makes them even more difficult. For me, the sustained, unidirectional focus combined with group interaction lasting beyond my okay-I’m-good threshold often makes me subdued at best — and surly at worst.

I’m sure my coworkers in these Zoom meetings must think I hate being there, but it’s simply not true. I love being there.

Until I don’t.

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I got to bed close to 5:00 in the morning, which is just crazy. I need to reset my clock so I’m not killing myself every workday. I’m telling you, the vampire in me realliy wants to be let loose and it’s a struggle not to allow it.

I got out of bed at 10 in the morning because I had to use the bathroom, so I also had breakfast and took my meds (I try to take them between 8 and 10 every day, usually around 9). Breakfast was two hot dogs with mustard, ketchup, and sauerkraut. Then I went back to bed and got up at 2 in the afternoon.

It felt wonderful.

I did the crossword, read the news, answered some emails, and dealt with bees. I’ll explain the bees tomorrow, but they took quite a bit of my energy for the remainder of my daylight hours.

Lunch was a couple of pieces of shoyu chicken, just the chicken. I wasn’t hungry enough to bother with rice. But then dinner was three more pices of chicken with brown rice. It was freaking delicious.

No snacking, not even on my walk. I miiiiight have a few chips before I finally go to bed, though. Starting to feel the twinge now as I’m finally wrapping my day up.

I watched Jay and Silent Bob Reboot for the third time, and I think I’m about done with it. Dropped it in the mailbox at the stripmall to start off my walk.

I got the Saturday stepcount up to 18,000 steps before midnight, then added 6600 steps after midnight. It wasn’t pleasant. My bad knee ached most of the way, and my doggies are beat. The second half, which is mostly downhill or level, was a lot better, but I was pretty tired the whole way. Listened to podcasts and Metallica’s Master of Puppets, so that was nice.

Oh, in the middle of my bee situation, I also drove to Sylvia’s house, and she reached through the back window of my car to place a sourdough starter on my back seat. I’m excited. It’s a 10-year-old starter and I’m going to start feeding it tomorrow for the bread machine hopefully Monday.

In addition to the texts with Sylvia leading up to the pickup, we texted later about Taco Bell, a weakness for us both. I was craving it like mad when I left her place, but the Taco Bell in my hood closed Saturday around 8, I guess. I get it; it’s a weird time, and sometimes a business can’t open or close when it wants to. Man I was disappointed, though.

It ended up great anyway, because as I said, my shoyu chicken was delicious. I didn’t have fresh ginger or garlic, so I added rice vinegar, allspice, cinnamon, basil, and a bay leaf. Allspice was exactly the right call. This is some killer chicken.

Crush Girl likes to bake, so of course I texted her about getting ahold of a ten-year-old sourdough starter and offered her some. She was in the middle of making cinnamon rolls when I messaged her, but she said she’d love to get some. Although it wasn’t a long interaction, I was happy for the positive connection.

Okay, Sunday. I’m planning to get up early to run a quick errand and maybe hit the beach. There will definitely be napping, and maybe a call to mom and dad. I want to write my review of that Jay and Silent Bob movie, and I still have some work I’d like to get done and emailed before people get to work Monday. It’s been a few days since I’ve had veggies, so I should probably plan on something Sunday, ‘though I can’t promise I won’t just scarf Taco Bell.

A little bit of meaningful connection goes a long way. If you’re not getting enough, I hope you’ll reach out! I’m here. Let’s connect for a little while.

I’m too tired to comment on that Adam Grant piece in the NYT. I’ll do it sometime Saturday.

It was a little bit of a rough day, not because anything went wrong. I was just dragging all day. Aaaaaalllll day. Still, I got a few things done but honestly not as much as I should have. I’m going to have to do some stuff over the weekend.

My brain feels a little mushy.

Okay breakfast was overnight oats. The plan was to steam some broccoli for lunch while I cooked shoyu chicken for dinner, but the chicken came out so good that I had that for lunch instead. Dinner was an unplanned two cheeseburgers from McD’s I grabbed in the middle of my long walk. I don’t think I snacked, but I definitely went overboard on the chicken at lunch.

My friend Ali in Boston is one of those people who returns my texts someday. I suspect she doesn’t do this with all her friends; I think it’s a kind of intentional armslength-keeping. Which is fine. She answered some of my messages today and then had a bunch of conversation. It was nice. I really miss her.

I also had text conversations with Sylvia (she’s sharing her sourdough starter with me tomorrow) and Crush Girl (she was interested in getting a burger at this place I’m familiar with). It was all some pretty good interaction.

When I went out for my walk (at about 10:30) I already had 10,000 steps for Friday. I got it up to 17,500 before midnight, then walked another 7800 steps after midnight. Kind of a lot of walking in two days.

Saturday I want to catch up on some reading and on some sleep. I think I’ll go do one of those now.

It’s a weird time we’re going through. I feel pretty good about the weirdness, but not everyone does, and I’m seeing it come out in some friends who admit they’re going a little stir-crazy. If this is you and if you don’t have someone to with whom you can decompress about it, please reach out. I’m here for that.

Someone asked me about overnight oats, so here’s how I do it. If you Google “overnight oats” you’ll find a hundred ways to do it. I tried it a few of those ways, adjusting for my preferences until it evolved into this.

The one-pint Ziploc Twist n Loc containers work best, but store-brand copycats work too. I use ’em both, ‘though I’ve found the Ziploc containers to be less prone to leakage.

One pint is two cups, which you know. So if you fill the cannister halfway with old-fashioned rolled oats (that is, not quick oats or whatever they call them), you get a whole cup of oatmeal goodness. I add about two tablespoons of a flaxseed-chia-seed mix. My local grocery used to sell it mixed, but no longer. Now I buy flaxseed and chia seeds separately and mix them in a plastic container, spooning out what I need each evening for the next morning.

If flaxseed and chia seeds aren’t part of your intake already, you may find some interesting effects on your going to the bathroom. The effect on me lasted a few weeks, but now it faded over time for some reason. I can’t think of a good reason for it unless the chia seeds i used before were ground and the ones I use now are whole, and perhaps this difference means my body responds differently.

Okay, half a container of rolled oats, two tablespoons of flaxseed and chia seeds, a couple of dashes of cinnamon, and two (or three) tablespoons of brown sugar. The brown sugar you could really do without, but I just find it easier to eat the whole thing if I sweeten it a little. Some mornings I’ll sprinkle more brown sugar on top. I know, I know.

Heres where you can add fruit or berries, which I tried for a little while. It just didn’t work for me. Slivered almonds are good, but I don’t know. They aren’t an improvement.

When all the dry ingredients are in the cannister, I mix it up as thoroughly as I can, but that’s just to make it easier the next morning. You really don’t have to stir it at all. Sometimes I’ll screw the lid on and give it a few vigorous shakes. Then take the lid off.

Now top off the cannister with milk or a nondairy alternative. I like oatmilk the best, but my local grocery store doesn’t carry it, and Costco (when I’m going there, which I’m not for the foreseeable future) has good, inexpensive, organic almond milk, so that’s what I usually go with. Now that I’m shopping at the neighborhood grocery store, I stick to almond milk. Use flavored or sweetened or plain. I use plain, but I also like the vanilla flavored.

Screw the cap on, and leave in fridge overnight. Give it a little stir in the morning, and dig in. I love eating my breakfast out of the container I make it in, plus it’s portable if you want to throw it in your bag and have it at your desk at work in the morning (I put it in a sandwich-sized Ziploc bag if I take it to go).

It’s a very forgiving recipe. I measure nothing. And if you decide to give it a try, you’ll take some things I do and toss others. It’s that flexible. I have it at least every other morning because it’s filling and satisfying, even if some mornings it’s not as interesting as others. Because all that fiber is good for me, I make myself finish the entire thing even when I fill up quickly. If I don’t finish it, I’m more likely to snack before lunch.

It took a long time before it was satisfying, lemme tell you. It used to fill me up, but then I’d really be craving some sausage or bacon or something. Now it almost always takes care of me until lunch, although occasionally I’ll have something small and savory right after, especially if I have leftovers in the fridge. I just had to train myself to think of the oats as breakfast, I think. Now I look forward to it most mornings.

Which doesn’t mean, as you know if you’ve been paying attention, that I don’t sometimes still have a couple of hot dogs for breakfast instead.

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I wasn’t super productive Thursday, but I did get a few things done. Finally got in touch with the donor I’m writing about, and we had a really nice phone conversation for about half an hour. I reached out to one of the chancellors to get a quote because I can see the shape this story will take even before drafting it. Should be a nice one, and I’m looking forward to drafting it tomorrow.

Breakfast was overnight oats. Lunch was a bowl of Apple Jacks because I have some milk to use up. It’d been several years since I’d last had a bowl of cereal (it’s rather pricey in Hawaii), so the Apple Jacks were an impulse buy a couple of months ago. I don’t really know what came over me: I like flakes. So it’s taken me this long to finish off the box.

Dinner was three small burritos — not the frozen burritos I’ve been having, but a kind of shortcut burrito I make rather often. I normally keep a large container of the filling in my fridge, then spoon it onto tortillas and add a slice of cheddar. Fold, then zap in the microwave oven. Simple ingredients. Tasty, quick, and inexpensive.

I had an egg salad sandwich for a snack during my walk.

Man, I got off to a super late start walking. Like 11:30. I only hit 5000 steps before midnight, then added 10,000 steps after midnight. Now it’s past 4:00 in the morning and I start work at 9:00(ish). There is going to be a lot of napping this weekend. I listened to a couple of podcasts and my short but awesome Amy Grant playlist.

Traded messages with Crush Girl periodically all day, mostly about books and food. She’s reading a book I let her borrow. I’m still trying to finish Dig by A.S. King, which is an amazing piece of work. I’ve just been too distracted at home, so I’m only getting reading done at the laundry. I miss reading in cafes!

That was it for texts and IMs, ‘though I got some decent engagement on FB, so I’m counting it. Tomorrow I’m going to comment in this space on an interesting piece by Adam Grant in the NY Times about introverts working at home.

I watched all the extras on Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, but was suuuuper disappointed to see there’s no commentary track. Ugh. I’m going to watch the movie again before I send the DVD back. Definitely a movie for fans of the franchise, and only for fans of the franchise.

I haven’t been drinking coffee or tea much this past couple of years, but Friday is going to be a multi-cup day for one or the other. I need the jolt if I want to be productive, and I really do. I have interesting projects to work on, and unless something “urgent” comes up, I’m going to have time to work on them.

Whatever you’re working on, if you’re having difficulty feeling connected to others for whatever reason, I hope you’ll reach out. We can trade texts or DMs. I want to know what you had for breakfast. I want to know what you’re streaming. I want to hear about what you miss.

Yer not from around these parts, are you, Pardner?

The mayor has given us until Monday to begin wearing masks when we’re out in public. It’s not a huge deal since I’m mostly only out to get exercise, and you don’t have to wear a mask for that. However, some stores have already begun requiring masks in order to enter, and I still have to get groceries once in a while.

I ordered some masks online about ten days ago and they haven’t arrived yet. I had a small inkling the moment I made the purchase that I wasn’t dealing with a reputable merchant, but I made the payment through PayPal, which means my purchase is protected, so I’m not going to worry about it yet. The website, company name, and PayPal merchant name were all different — three names! Yikes. I trust PayPal to take care of me or I might freak out a little.

So I did the no-sew t-shirt mask suggested by the CDC itself. Pretty easy, but I have to say the t-shirt material doesn’t instill a lot of confidence that I’m keeping my viruses to myself. On the other hand, I’ve seen other tutorials that look a bit more reliable, and now that I’ve seen how to do this one, I have ideas of my own to try.

I wore it out on my walk anyway, at least until my midway stop at 7-Eleven for a Diet Pepsi. It wasn’t comfortable, but it wasn’t unbearable. The breathing wasn’t as much an issue as I thought. I found the breathing easier if I inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth for some reason. It was pretty dang warm tonight, and the mask did not help. Still, not unbearable. Certainly bearable enough to wear when I have to step into a grocery store or convenience store.

Writin’ with the homies

A work recap would be boring, so I’ll just say it was a semi-productive day with some disagreement with team members about how to approach the wording of an email we’re sending out to 500 emergency fund recipients. I may have gotten someone angry with my input, and I can’t say I wasn’t sorta aggressive about one specific point about which I am sure I was right.

I’ve been thinking a lot these past couple of weeks about how I feel I’m always the person who yields. I don’t mean just at work — actually, this was prompted by my having to go far out of my way to avoid people when we pass each other on the sidewalks during my late-night roaming. but it’s always been true at work too.

When I taught ninth-grade English, the ninth-grade history teacher was famous for being really, really strict with her students. I don’t mind that at all — students need one teacher like that every year or so, and I don’t have it in me to be that teacher. This teacher wasn’t just strict; she was demanding, giving way too much homework, not accepting late work on most assignments, and not listening to excuses very often.

We used to try to coordinate with other teachers not to schedule big tests or big assignments at the same time, and whenever there was a conflict between ninth-grade English and ninth-grade history, I was always the one who yielded. Mostly because I didn’t really mind.

So I’m a yielder. There’s not much I can is wrong with that, especially since I don’t mind being the flexible one. What’s bugging me lately is that I shouldn’t have to be the yielder all the time, yet my willingness makes me be the one. Thisis starting to bug me a little. I don’t mind yielding, but maybe I mind always yielding.

Which is why I may have been a leeeettle too insistent on taking out one small phrase. And perhaps it wasn’t received well.

I also tried to interview a donor by phone but had to leave a voicemail.

Text is natural; text is good. Not everybody does it, but everybody should.

It was Antony’s birthday so I sent him a happy birthday. I’ve been a little concerned because he’s a bus rider and I do not want people I care about riding buses nowadays. Traded some IMs with Crush Girl about places we each can’t wait to dine at, once we’re allowed again to dine out. She’s a good food friend, the kind of person likes cooking and dining out and talking about both. Traded a few work-related IMs with Sylvia too.

That was about it. I was kind of in leave-me-alone mode most of my day.

Breakfast was overnight oats. Lunch was last night’s marinara over penne, with some of that blue cheese mixed in. Delicious enough that I had it for dinner too. I had a late snack of an egg salad sandwich.

I hit 15,900 steps for Wednesday and got home before midnight. The plan was to go to bed early-ish and wake up to hit the beach, but I remembered moments ago the full moon was April 7, which means Thursday the 16th is the first day of the monthly jellyfish influx, and the soonest I’ll be able to get wet again is Sunday morning. I mind sharing the beach with the jellyfish a lot less when I’m in the water several times a week. When I’m down to once a week, I’d appreciate it if those guys would just stay out there. They have a whole ocean.

During breaks in the action Wednesday, I watched Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, a movie I heard nothing about when it was in theaters last fall. I have about half an hour left; maybe I’ll finish it before hitting the hay, since I don’t have to be up early anymore.

If you’re lacking someone with whom to share whatever you’re doing to get through the lockdown, please reach out. Tell me about Tiger King or the cinnamon swirl mug cake you made today. You don’t have to go through any of this alone!