Lockdown: It(’s a Monster)

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I’m getting a little nervous. I’ll fight off sleep for hours between, say, seven in the evening when I get off work to midnight or so, then instead of being dead-tired and taking a dive like the stock market, I’ll be wide-wide awake, looking for fun things to do or interesting things to read about, or even doing chores. Until well after sunrise.

It’s been going on for nearly a week.

Monday I struggled through work. I got a lot of easy stuff done, stuff still requiring some thought and a critical eye, but not really creating anything. When I tried to work on the difficult stuff, I hyperfocused on stuff that really just slowed me down, like where to put a quote or where on the page to put an image. Meanwhile, the writing wasn’t getting done, and now I’m two days behind on something that’s kind of a big deal.

As the work day ended, I was a little conflicted about whether I needed laundry, sleep, or some of the big weekly chores taken care of. Oh, and drinking water. It seems pretty obvious the laundry could wait until the next (or even the next-next) night, but for some reason it took me a while to get there. So I focused on tackling the Monster, thinking I’d be done by two in the morning, then go to sleep and get a good seven or eight hours.

The Monster gave it up pretty willingly. It’s still a super unpleasant task, of course, but it’s becoming almost routine when I take care of it once a week, and I’m chipping slowly away at its Godzillaesque dimensions. Although I’m a long way from getting it closer to Godzooky, I am seeing it shrink slowly, slowly, slowly.

I had a late dinner and went to bed, sometime after 3:30, but then couldn’t get to sleep until (again) well after sunrise. When I say this is madness, I’m not sure I’m speaking figuratively, you know?

Breakfast was a bowl of raisin bran. Comforting. Lunch was the last of the leftover pot roast, with the last of the carrots and potatoes, with gravy and hapa rice. I still have some rice, gravy, and kale left from that original meal. Hot, kind of fatty, and quite comforting. Dinner was a few slices of sourdough bread with some medium cheddar. I ate the last four chocolate peanut butter pie Oreos for a snack.

I didn’t go for a walk. Again.

I got a text from Suzanne about lychee. I haven’t responded yet for some reason. Then in the engineering firm group text, the ladies talked about something I’m not qualified to comment on, but it was about someone friending someone else on FB. I texted coworker Terri to let her know I left something for her on her desk, for whenever she gets back.

The writing partner and I traded texts about the work she’s about to submit. Crush Girl texted me to talk about some changes at her job.

It wasn’t a great day but it didn’t suck. I’ll feel a lot better when I get some of this work stuff taken care of.

Here’s an invitation to reach out if you’re having difficulty connecting during this insane lockdown. Just do it.

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