chalkdust

Aaaaaand let’s talk about Monday.

Slept terribly. Again. Tried to write but couldn’t focus. Spent some energy chasing down some loose ends, not left loose by me but my responsibility, so I hit those emails with gusto. Not really gusto. But more energy than I felt, that’s for sure.

Took a short break to hit the Taco Bell drive-though. Still good. Not tired of it yet.

I have to admit I was low-energy and non-productive pretty much all day. Not my best day at the nonprofit, but at least I did not make anyone’s work more difficult, which is a huge positive given my history. I just kept a low profile, answered emails quickly (it wasn’t difficult; I think I only got three emails) and set myself up for success Tuesday.

I skipped lunch, so by early evening I was ready to eat, and I was determined to get some takeout, something different, either somewhere I’d never been or something I’ve never had from somewhere I have been. First I drove aimlessly around the hood: Liliha, Nuuanu, Kalihi. Pulled up to Ha Long, a very popular pho joint on Dillingham. I’ve had pho there (it’s good but it’s not great), but I decided if they had a promising-sounding banh mi on the menu, I’d get that.

Then I realized I’d left my wallet on my desk. I had my phone, which has saved me most times I didn’t have my wallet, but I didn’t want to approach the register, ask if they took Apple pay, then slink out when they said no. So I drove home, returned, ordered a lemongrass chicken banh mi and some summer rolls, and dove in when I got it home. The banh mi was quite good — definitely a step up from Ba-Le, which might be the only other place I’ve had it. There’s a Ba-Le on campus at Manoa and I dined there many times before we relocated our offices.

I didn’t do any writing during my usual dedicated writing time, unless journaling counts, which I try not to allow.

For some reason got on this Joan Jett kick and listened to her first two albums all evening. Good stuff. Punky and raw but polished enough for radio, somehow.

I read a little, then watched the first two episodes of Cobra Kai. Tamlyn Tomita and Yuji Okumoto are in season three, so I’ve got to see it when it drops. What the heck. Season one was ten bucks on Prime, which is less than a movie ticket in a theater, and it’s five hours of hopefully solid nostagia.

The first two episodes are promising. The show does pander shamelessly to 80s nostalgia, but whatever. I like how the show makes a point of showing how much more enlightened teens today are. We were barbarians in the 80s and I hope none of us is proud of it.

Then it was more reading until I fell asleep, uncomforably and without Darth Vader. Great. What’s worse for my health: reading in bed now when it results in my sleeping without my lifeline, or reading in bed as a tween, under the covers with a flashlight?

Books are bad for you.

I got a text from a coworker thanking me for my Christmas gift. That felt good. Penny texted me to say she finished Ted Lasso, so we chatted about that a little. Jennifer sent me some screen shots of the local news; it led to the use of “nonprofit” as noun and adjective. Crush Girl and I traded a few messages about her Christmas get-together.

I’m off New Year’s Eve and would like to think of some good way to spend it. It will probably sneak up on me, though, and I’ll spend the morning thinking of something to do and then the evening trying to make it happen, but it won’t. If I just spend it in bed reading, I should be satisfied, right? That’s really what I want to do every December 31.

My book calls. I must answer. First, a few chores. I am going to get ready for bed, hours before I plan to put myself to bed, hoping to avoid a repeat of Monday night.

Don’t go through it alone. Leave a comment if you need someone to connect with. It’s a long, dark weekend ahead.

Stayed up too late Saturday night reading. Still working on Utopia Avenue and it’s pretty engrossing.

So I was a bit annoyed with myself, with my book, and with the world when I woke up Sunday before seven. I did a quick check of the NFL news and thought I’d go back to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. I just got up.

I watched most of the early game, the second half of the second game, and half of the third game, with a nap somewhere in there, and a porterhouse steak in my grill pan (with the Mitchell Street seasoning and a pat of butter) for lunch, before packing up for the office. I actually had very little to do there this weekend, especially since I popped in Christmas night to drop off my office gift, but I was ready for a little change of scenery.

The software was all current. I tried to work on a story but couldn’t focus. And I was too tired to just give up and come home, so I was there about three hours, mostly staring blankly at the screen. It was actually kind of restful.

Stopped at Grace’s for a chicken katsu plate. I was very hungry by the time I got home at about 9:30 and my plans for leftovers vanished as I pretty much inhaled that thing wile reading my book.

Most of my evening chores were done during football, so I enjoyed a nice quiet evening reading, with breaks for the bathroom and stupid phone games. It’s nice to have my Kindle back.

A few highlighted lines from Utopia Avenue.

“The cellar of the 2i’s Coffee Bar at 59 Old Compton Street is as hot, dank, and dark as armpits. Two naked bulbs dangle above the low stage made of planks and milk-crates. The walls sweat and the ceiling drips.”

“What’s not written in ink on paper is, de jure, written in piss on snow.”

“‘In fifty years,’ said Jasper, ‘or five hundred, or five thousand, music will still do to people what it does to us now.'”

“It’s a classy Victorian pub with brass fittings, upholstered chair backs, and NO SPITTING signs.”

“Under the striplight in the staff kitchen, Jasper studies the sleeve of The Cloud Atlas Sextet.”

“Writing is a forest of faint paths, of dead ends, hidden pits, unresolved chords, words that won’t rhyme. You can be lost in there for hours. Days, even.”

“On the table is a pot of tea Jasper doesn’t recall making, the core of an apple he doesn’t recall eating, and a page of staves, notes, and lyrics he knows he wrote.”

“The hookah’s spell is fading. Dean lies where he lies on Shanks’s Turkish carpet.”

“A lunchtime lollipop lady took up position on the pelican crossing and directed a crocodile of infants across the road.”

Aaargh. I don’t seem to have in my highlights a couple of sections I really want to write about, where David Mitchell gets away with something that, if I wrote it, I would immediately have deleted because it’s too cute and clever by at least half. If I don’t find these sections I’ll have to re-read (or scan) later to find them. Need to ask myself if I’m not brave enough to leave alone some of the cutesy ideas I come up with instead of deleting them as being too cutesy.

Pretty sure Sunday, always a day of very little texting, was my first day of the lockdown with no texting at all. I didn’t even notice until I turned in.

Uneventful Sunday (I’m sparing you the horrible fantasy football details), kind of like my Saturday, and I headed into the work week kind of refreshed.

I hope wherever you are, you’re reading a good book for escape or inspiration, and that you have someone to connect with as we approach the final seconds of a crappy year. If you don’t, leave a comment and I’ll send you come contact info. Tell me about your book or the sweaty walls and dripping ceilings.

I’ve often said there are two times a year I wake up and feel the absence of another person in the bed next to me. Christmas morning and some other random morning during the year. I didn’t feel it Friday morning, perhaps because I’ve had no in-person social interaction for nine months. I don’t know what the connection might be, but I think there is one.

I kind of felt flashes of it Saturday, the day after Christmas, as I moved through my day, hibernation-like, with no tasks or ambitions. I got up in the late morning, read the news, looked at a few blogs, did the crossword puzzle (unsuccessfully), and browsed Amazon. Made myself a pan-fried ahi filet with the Mitchell Street seasoning and a fresh pot of quinoa. The seasoning worked well with fish. I don’t think I prefer it to just pepper and kosher salt, but it’s a nice changeup.

Some time after breakfast, I went back to bed, not necessarily to sleep, but if sleep came upon me I wasn’t going to chase it off. A little bit of phone-staring, a little bit of reading, a lot of napping, and no stress. I soaked it up and rolled around in it.

I got up at four in the afternoon and thought I could do a few chores and make a run for the beach. When I got outdoors to grab something from the car, I was snapped into Saturday’s reality for the whole island. It had rained all day. All that cozy napping? Turns out it was the perfect day for it, and I guess a lot of us were.

Not wanting to swim in runoff, especially with the winter mostly being dry enough so far, I gave that idea up and played around a little more with my phone. Spent a little bit of time writing, then paying bills. I think I may have taken another nap.

Around eight I drove to Liliha Bakery and brought home another meat loaf plate. The last one had been six days earlier, which I consider at least not a condemnable interval.

I did a few more chores and then I don’t know what happened. Most likely I reclined in my bed and fell asleep and didn’t wake up until about three, with lights and other normally unplugged applicances still running. Ugh. Got up to at least shut the house down and went back to bed.

Jennifer texted me a link to an article about a coffee drip pot. I’m interested but since I’ve cut way, way down on coffee I need to file this away until maybe I’ve got my BP in a better place. I’ve been testing normal lately, but that’s with daily meds.

JB texted me something about the Dolphins-Raiders football game, but all the Saturday games were on the NFL Network, which I don’t have, so I didn’t know what he was talking about. Ali has already begun reading Mr. Penumbra’s, the book I gifted her, and had a few early thoughts. I love getting responses to the actual books I gift, even if the recipient responds negatively. In this case it was positive, I think. She said something like, “This is such a Mitchell book.” I wanted to say, “No I’m reading a Mitchell book — Utopia Avenue. You’re reading a Sloan book.”

Crush Girl and I traded a few very short texts about what I’m reading and how she was spending her day. Reading!

Daily reminder that you don’t need to go through this miserable winter of our discontent disconnected. Leave a comment if you need someone to connect with. I’ll send contact details.

Christmas! I didn’t sleep well but it was okay. I meant to hit the beach at sunrise. It didn’t happen, but my brief family time would be early enough to leave plenty of room for an afternoon swim.

None of which means it was any easier getting out of bed Friday morning than every other Christmas morning of my adult life. I got the car loaded and rolling about half an hour later than planned, rolled up to the drive-through pickup at Big City Diner for the prime rib holiday meal, and got it to the parents’.

We chatted at a distance (me wearing a mask), split up the food, wished each other Merry Christmas a few times, chatted some more, and said let’s do it again as soon as the world’s a safer place.

I got my dad a bottle of the Balvenie 15, aged in sherry casks. Got my mom thirty pounds of premium Japanese rice. Also presented her with last year’s Christmas gift. I was going to make an appointment with a dog groomer last spring (the groomer in Pearl City was booked through February) and then we got locked down. So annoying.

She seemed pleased. I’d made the appointment and driven to the groomer to pay in advance. A little bit of an inconvenience I hope pays off.

When I got home I made myself a plate and pigged out while reading the news. Took a very short nap and hit the beach, where I got a pretty good parking spot, as it was a gray, rainy day and people were packing up to go. There were a lot of people on the beach when I went in; when I got out the beach was practically empty.

I also had the ocean mostly to myself. It felt great, and I lingered a bit longer than usual.

Drove to the office. Wednesday or Thursday, my gift to the office came via FedEx, too late for officemates to appreciate it ahead of the holiday, but it’s okay. It’s meant to be enjoyed for some time.

Came home. Watched Noelle one and a half times. Played around with my phone.

Oh yeah. The other early morning when I mailed some gifts, I remembered that I never gave Reid his birthday gift in July. When I ordered it, I kinda thought life would be normal again by midsummer. What a foolish man.

I had a rough idea of where I left it. Took me a little bit of time to locate it in a small plastic box of stuff I brought home from the office in August. Yay. They were face masks made from fabric supporting a certain football team I hate. I stuck that in with his and his wife’s gifts and dropped it in the mail.

Christmas afternoon as I got ready to hit the beach, it hit me. The long-misplaced Kindle could very well be in that plastic box. The last time I saw it was when I took it to the office a few months ago — it’s why I never purchased a replacement (‘though I considered it). The only places it could be were the office, my car, my house, and the laundry. I was certain I never left it at the laundry (because I never actually took it out to read while at the laundry). It wasn’t in my cubicle and it wasn’t in my car.

So yeah. It was there. I spent the afternoon charging it up, then after Noelle I settled in to read. I thought starting a new book was a good way to go into the final week of the year. David Mitchell’s Utopia Avenue, which I purchased the week it dropped but never got around to. I’ll be happy to have it read, as I completed many books published in 2020.

It’s quite good, seventy pages in. I fell asleep reading (something I almost never do with a physical book but frequently do with the Kindle) and look forward to wrapping myself up in it Saturday.

I skipped breakfast in favor of sleeping a little longer. Lunch was a hunk of prime rib, garlic mashed potatoes, green beans, garlic shrimp, and bread pudding from Big City Diner. Delicious. I got hungry again close to midnight so dinner was some Chicken McNuggets and fries from McD’s.

There were the usual Merry Christmas texts from friends and relatives, including Reid, Jennifer, the writing partner, Charles the Rock, and Anto.

Ali texted me to thank me for a Kindle book I gifted her. I actually got her something I wanted to mail her, but I had a feeling she wasn’t going to give up the mailing address (I’ve asked before, and she didn’t refuse, but neither did I get the address), so a Kindle book it was. That led to some conversation about books and how we spent Christmas.

Crush Girl and I messaged sporadically through the day. It was nice; almost like spending it together in a very casual way.

I feel lucky not to have lost friends or relatives (or even acquaintances) to this stupid disease. It’s been a crappy year and I’ve made it so far because I like being alone anyway and because I’ve had good friends to connect with, not in person. Don’t try to go it without connections. Leave a comment and I’ll reach back.

Thursday was mellow, as Christmas Eve always is on a work day. Half the company took the day off, so emails were mostly a trickle, and nobody was really waiting on anything to be completed. This is the perfect setting for my being seriously productive.

With my coworker, I finished the film review column, then added my monthly writing tip and a few more edits. Sent it off for the guy who assembles the thing in MailChimp who doesn’t plan to get on it until Monday. In fariness, I was supposed to have it in by the end of Tuesday, so I was a full day and a half late.

I edited and posted a news story on the website and did a little bit of outlining on one of those student profiles.

During my lunch break, I ran a few more Christmas errands. They were a little exhausting, I have to say. In fact, all the Christmas erranding was exhausting this year, not to mention stressful, but my car was running nicely and I had the means this year to get people what I wanted, so my spirits were good even while my nerves were close to fraying.

After work, I vegged a little while, wrapped a few gifts, and drove to my sister’s place in Waipio. She wasn’t home, but my niece was. The niece met me in the parking lot and grabbed gifts for my sister, my nephew, and her from the back seat. We chatted very briefly, but it was good to see her.

That put me in the spirit, as gift delivery always does, so I came home and watched Noelle over dinner.

Breakfast was the last of my leftover quinoa and kale, with some fried eggs and Vienna sausage. Naughty, I know. For lunch I made a large bowl of pasta. Jarred sauce, dried garlic flakes, red pepper flakes, vodka, gorgonzola, brown sugar, and a huge handful of steamed kale. I had leftover, so that was dinner. I also (finally) had the last piece of the strawberry guava pie, two weeks after picking the pie up from the bakery. Whew. Glad that’s done with, and happy for the space it opened up in my fridge.

Crush Girl was delightfully chatty; we texted most of the afternoon and evening about Christmas plans, about which Christmas movies we’d watch, and about our baking projects. She’s quite the avid baker. It was nice and connective, and friendly and Christmassy. Most of the rest of my texting Thursday was practical: working out details with my sister and niece for the gift dropoff.

Mellow mellow mellow with a dash of productivity, a sprinkling of accomplishment, and a twist of Christmas spirit. Not to mention some nice driving on long freeways with podcasts (I wasn’t in the mood for music). A good (nearly merry) Christmas Eve.

Christmas eve reminder to reach out if you need someone to connect with. ‘Tis the season and all that!

Wednesday morning on the way back from the post office, I went through the McD’s drive-though despite being super tired and only slightly hungry. I don’t know why.

Had a very early (for me) breakfast while I read the news and wrote a few emails, then went back to bed for a couple of hours. Again: that was the best sleep. What’s up with this?

Got up to work on staff newsletter stuff. Had my weekly one-on-one with my boss, then a phone call with one of our new directors. We’re working on a Valentine’s Day card together for her department. We’re also collaborating on my movie review column for the newsletter this month, each of us listing our five favorite documentaries. She mentioned in her bio when she came aboard that she loves docs, so I got on that for the collaboration.

This is my part:

Wordplay (2006)
It’s a wonderful look at the New York Times crossword puzzle—the people who solve it, the people who construct it, and Will Shortz, the brilliant, singular man who edits it.

35 Up (1991)
A class of English seven-year-olds was interviewed for a film, and profiled again every seven years. Last year, the kids were 63 for their ninth film. 35 is the best, but they’re all great.

Spellbound (2002)
Superimposes the Scripps National Spelling Bee on class and education in America—heartbreaking and triumphant.

Woodstock (1970)
Three days of peace, love and terrific music.

Anvil! The Story of Anvil (2008)
In 1973, high-schoolers Steve and Robb formed a metal band, vowing to keep rocking together until they died. They’re still at it, even after performing in front of 174 fans in a 10,000-seat arena.

Most of my Wednesday workday was newsletter stuff. I had a late interview with a student, one of those students who calls alumni to ask them for donations. She’s my second student interview in a week, and I have one more next week.

Took a nap after work, then read the news and did some gift-related things. Called my mom and dad for a little while. Did a little bit of writing.

My Diet Pepsi ran out before the food in my fridge ran out. By a lot. This tells me I got takeout too many times these past two weeks. Still had to go to the supermarket, so I waited until half an hour before closing. It was blessedly uncrowded and unbusy. I focused on replenishing the cupboard, with so little room in the fridge, and didn’t buy anything new. I didn’t have time to mess around.

Did a little more writing, a few chores, and more gift stuff. In bed at close to three. Yikes.

Breakfast was a local deluxe platter (it’s a Hawaii thing) from McD’s. Lunch was a boneless chicken plate from Rainbows. That was dinner too — it’s a lot of food. I had a slice of strawberry guava pie for a snack. This pie is two weeks old Thursday, and I have one slice left. It’s not that I don’t like it — I do. It’s just really sweet for my tastes.

Crush Girl and I texted a bunch at different times. That was pretty much it, but it was enough. Good interaction.

This is my third Christmas with this foundation, and each year they’ve given us a bonus day off: either Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, or we can take half a day on each. The last two years I’ve taken the half day for each, but this year I’m taking off for New Year’s Eve. I don’t really know why, since the days are going to be nearly identical. I mean to every other day since March, not just to each other. I’m thinking maybe I’ll go on a long drive, or hit one of the beaches I love in remoter sections of the island. Or maybe just read.

Anyway I work tomorrow when half the company is taking the day off. This is good. It means I should get a lot of work done. I have a few errands to run during my lunch hour. Other than that I think my day is clear. There’s a meeting I think is going to be canceled. Good conditions for productivity.

Oh when I was getting gifts Monday, I bought a nice-looking bottle of prosecco for my Christmas holiday. Should go well with Taco Bell for breakfast.

I’m looking forward to some down time, but I plan to stay connected to my people. If you’re not connected enough, I hope you’ll leave a comment. I’ll give you my contact info and you can reach out whenever. Don’t be lonely.

The days have a sameness I saw coming back in March. It’s one reason I was determined then to log certain things, to separate one day from the previous with projects and goals and updates on trivialities. Also to avoid falling into bad tendencies, such as the predilection for staying in bed two weeks at a time.

Because Monday I only got half my errands done, I took a few hours off Tuesday morning as well, and continued the tasks. So as unusual as a day like Tuesday is, it looked and felt nearly identical to Monday. The details were different, as were a couple of the frustrations, but as Tuesday wound down, all I could think was that it was like a redo of Monday.

I got up. Finished up this story I’m working on and submitted it. Had a phone meeting with a development officer about two stories I’m working on for his department. It was a normal call and the stories are pretty straightforward. Typed up a few notes and sent my supervisor an update.

Around lunch time I got in my car and zipped around town, finishing up the Christmas shopping. Parts of it were frustrating, as these errands often are, but parts were quick and easy. I was in the area, so I poked my head into Ohana Hale Marketplace to see if I could grab food and eat it on the car, but yikes. That place was packed, and there were people everywhere with masks off (because they were eating) or not covering their noses (because they were idiots). I’m shuddering just remembering it. I couldn’t get out of there quickly enough.

With everything pretty much done, I still had some time for a late lunch. I opted instead for soft-serve. There’s a spot in industrial Kalihi, right behind the Nissan dealership where last week I got the airbags replaced, and I’d never been to this spot. They have an original location in Aiea I have been to.

Ordered a s’mores soft-serve, which was chocolate soft-serve with little marshmallows, graham cracker crumbs, several medium-sized toasted marshmallows on a skewer, and a gigantic Oreo cookie. I could have done without the little mallows, and the Oreo was terrible, but the rest of it was quite outstanding.

Got back to my desk and tried to work, but I had enormous difficulty focusing. Spent most of the rest of my day throwing around ideas for this Valentine’s Day card I’m working on for one of the departments, in anticipation of a meeting I was supposed to have about it the next day.

When work was done I just crashed. Like comatose before hitting the pillow crashed. So, so tired.

I got up to write a little, but decided the best way to use my time was to go to bed, around one-ish, I think. I had planned to stay up and finish wrapping gifts, then make a late-night run to the post office.

Instead, I got up at 4:30, stuffed six Priority Mail envelope mailers, loaded up the car, and headed for the Makiki post office. Got there around six . Yeah, I don’t know where the time went, but I know it was six because I checked, and because that’s when I got there a week ago on my way home from the laundry to maile that first batch of gifts.

Aaaaand I think it went smoothly. Which cannot be taken for granted, since last week I sent two friends (who don’t know each other) each other’s gifts. Uggggh. The late drive to Penny’s Monday night was to fetch one. The other’s on its way back to me from Kauai. That recipient just did a return-to-sender for me, so she didn’t have to pay any postage.

I’m not done. I have to more Priority Mail boxes to send out, hopefully Thursday morning early. I’m going to do a grocery store run as soon as I finish typing this, then pack those boxes up. I already paid for the postage, so if all goes well, I just stick those labels on these boxes and drop them in the self-serve dropoff Thursday. Yee-haw.

Breakfast was more of the kale-quinoa stuff, with a couple of fried eggs and a little bit of extra-sharp cheddar. It was yummy. Lunch was the soft-serve and a hot dog (it was a combo, okay?). Dinner was a bowl of pasta with jarred sauce, vodka, red pepper flakes, a little bit of sugar, dried garlic chips, blue cheese, and a mess of steamed kale. It was quite delicious. I would eat this every other night if there were no negative consequences.

Texted a few friends for addresses. I have their addresses, but it’s easier and faster just to ask. Gwen and I texted while I ran my errands; she needed some Mac help I’m no longer qualified to give, but I did my best. Crush Girl texted me a link to this great photo essay in one of the national papers. Amazing photos. Now I want to go to northern Europe for the winter.

Time to hit the grocery.

Do not go through pandemic sameness alone. Leave a comment if you’re not feeling connected. I’ll send you contact info. We’re going to get through this. You’re going to get through this. Don’t go through it alone, even if that’s your inclination, as it is mine!

I’m still not sleeping well. I actually put myself to bed at a decent hour Sunday night, too.

Monday I got up and reworked my rejected email copy. It was approved immediately and sent around for others to okay. Took care of some emails, worked on my contribution to the staff newsletter, and took a few hours off to finish Christmas shopping stuff.

Things took a lost longer than I expected. The line at the credit union to use the ATM was crazy. I gave up, jumped back in my car, and headed for a no-fee ATM near my parents’ house. No line there, but the line to get my car into a spot was a bit annoying.

I got a lot done, but it was only half my to-do list.

It was nice zooming around the island in my newly-tuned car. I listened to Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run on my way out and The Night Flight Orchestra’s Aeromantic on my way back.

Got back to work, editing a thing for the med school.

I don’t remember what I did between the end of work and the dedicated writing time, but it was probably unproductive. I did a track-by-track evaulation of the debut album by ARO (that’s Aimee Osbourne, Ozzy’s eldest daughter, the one who refused to be part of the reality show because she wanted a normal life), the first time I’ve tried to review an album like this while I’m spinning it for the first time.

The result was really more pre-writing than writing. Lots of fragments and ideas but no real prose. Good lesson, though. I think a second listen while I’m writing more stuff beneath what I started with could make a good review.

Spent some time sketching a plan for the next few days. Asked for a few more hours off in the middle of the workday Tuesday. Drove to Penny’s so she could throw something through my rear window. Did some cleaning and went to bed late.

Breakfast was the uneaten Subway sandwich from Sunday. It was kind of gross but also pretty good. Lunch, grabbed on the way home from Christmas errands, was a few tacos from the Taco Bell drive-through. I planned to skip dinner but got pretty hungry late. Drove to Bob’s on Dillingham and got a grilled steak. The place is super inconsistent: sometimes it’s excellent and sometimes it’s not good. I’m talking for the same order, on different visits. Anyway this time it was excellent.

Texted Ali a few times and didn’t hear back. Crush Girl and I texted a few times about Christmas shopping and the book I loaned her, which she’s midway through.

Here’s your daily reminder that you needn’t go through this pandemic disconnected. Leave a comment if connectivity you lack. I got your back.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

My sleep Saturday night was a joke, even for me. Dragged myself up arond 9:30 to use the bathroom and decided I was up. Read the news, watched some football, goofed around on my phone, ate a small slice of pie.

The auto shop called at 10:31 to say my car was ready, a minute after the start of my fantasy basketball draft. The draft took an hour — I think I did pretty well — and I took another hour getting stuff squared away at home and ready for a trip to the office. Walked down to the shop, paid my ton of money, and drove it home for my stuff.

It was noticeably better. The thing I was most stressed about, this mechanical pop I heard a few times on every drive, coming from my right front axle, was gone. The ball joint. I thought the engine had been running well, but now it ran even better. The tuneup. The car already growls while waiting at red lights and roars as the light turns green, but this time it was practically snarling in idle. The wheel alignment made me realize I’d been wrestling for control of the vehicle for months without really thinking about it. I knew the alignment was bad, probably related to the bad ball joint (as were the bad front tires), but I had no idea how bad it was until I drove it right after the repair.

Picked up two footlong sandwiches from Subway. I figured one for breakfast-slash-lunch and one for a late dinner.

Went to the office and dug in while I updated software. Sharon needed to get in (she doesn’t work in our main office anymore so she doesn’t have a key) so she dropped by when I told her I was in. We stayed far apart, even riding down to our floor in separate elevators, but dang it was nice to see her. It had been nine months.

Her stuff didn’t take long. I tried to work on this article I’m on. It’s not especially difficult but I couldn’t focus, and boy was I tired. I took care of a few housekeeping tasks instead, put an ornament on one of our lobby trees, placed a bunch of healthy(ish) snacks on the reception desk, and took care of a few Christmas things.

I’d loaded four large grocery bags with empty bottle and a small rat in a live trap into my car before leaving the house, so I walked the bottles toward the park where the homeless people are. On the way, I met a woman with two shopping carts, doing something interesting with either a tube of paint or a tube of something edible. I honestly couldn’t tell if she was preparing a meal or working on some kind of art.

“Excuse me. Are you collecting bottles?” I asked.

“Yes, thank you,” she said.

“Can I just put them in here?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Thank you for taking them off my hands,” I said.

“You’re welcome.”

Cleaned up in the office. Drove up to my preferred rat-releasing spot, and let the little guy go. He seemed happy to be out of the cage. The car handled great coming home a windy-twisty route.

I wasn’t feeling that second Subway sandwich, so I stopped at Liliha Bakery and picked up a meat loaf plate. It was exactly what I needed while also being just what I didn’t need, but ah well. Comfort food.

I was so tired. Took a little bit of a nap that ran too long, so now it’s nearly two in the morning as I write this, and I’m still too tired to be up.

The shop said I’d get my invoice in email but it wasn’t there, hours later. I was using a custom email with my name in the domain (the domain at which this space resides), which Gmail imports into my Gmail account. I did a webmail check directly into that email address and dang it: Gmail hadn’t fetched mail from that box all weekend. Among the not-yet-retrieved mails was an email from Keith, my old boss at the community college, asking if I’d help a friend of his start a podcast (of course I will) and to text him because his new phone didn’t have his old contacts.

But also: an email from the shop SATURDAY MORNING AT NINE telling me my car was ready for pickup! I got it twenty-seven hours later. I am furious. I feel like I lost a weekend day. Gosh fricking darn it. It took me a while to figure out the problem with Gmail and fix it (it was kind of an easy fix and soooooorta nobody’s fault). I’ll spare readers the tech details. I made the adjustment of other email accounts I have Gmail set to import, but didn’t get it all done. Just the important accunts. I’ll do the rest sometime this week.

It’s okay. Saturday was restful if not productive. The car drives well, and I had the money to cover it. I still have a few big deals and then a couple of lower-priority things to take care of, but I no longer feel like I’m driving myself into a prophesied doom. As long as I don’t get pulled over for my long-expired safety inspection sticker, I feel pretty safe taking care of some late-minute Christmas things Monday and Tuesday. So I can stop being furious.

Right. Now.

When I wrote about Saturday’s breakfast-slash-lunch (penne with jarred sauce) I forgot that I also threw in a bunch of that steamed kale I loaded my fridge with. Although I’ve many times had fresh greens with pasta in red sauce, for some reason I never think it’s going to work when I do it at home, but this worked great. If I have to eat all this kale, combining it with perhaps the unhealthiest thing I love most, a huge bowl of pasta, seems like a good way to mitigate the damage I’m doing with all these empty carbs.

I still have a boatload of quinoa in the fridge too, and that already has kale in it. I guess that’s a more sensible option. Especially since I love quinoa and it goes great with fresh greens.

There was quite a bit more texting Sunday than usual for this day. Kerri asked me something about East of Eden for some reason, while I was walking to the shop to pick up my car. I traded texts wtih Penny about a stupid Christmas gift situation I caused with some carelessness. Then there was all the texting with Sharon about getting her into the office. I also texted her later, saying how nice it was to see her and sorry for being unfriendly. I’m stressed out being around people, especially people I care about. Don’t want to get anyone sick. Texted Ali some updates on life in the office. Crush Girl and I texted a few times about stuff she’s been watching. I told her I was watching Noelle Sunday evening, which I did.

I wanna get a lot of work stuff done before the holiday weekend, and some Christmas errands early in the week. Here’s to a good, festive, Christmasy week.

Don’t go through it alone. If you need some connection, leave a comment and I’ll send you some contact info. The holidays suck if you’re floating adrift. Don’t float adrift.