chalkdust

Friday should have been a better day. I was unparalyzed from my being productive Thursday, right? Right. It didn’t quite work out that way.

I woke up at 4:00 to hit the beach. Even by Ala Moana sunrise standards, it was a beautiful morning. The full moon shone over the blackish-blue on the Kewalo end as the sun came up over the Waikiki condos. I was initially torn between wanting to get a series of sunrise photos and wanting to see it from in the water as I swam through the lightening water.

I chose the water, of course. I swam pretty hard for the first half of what’s been my usual distance lately, then cruised most of the way back. By the time I was done, there was a remarkable number of stand-up paddleboarders in the water and more swimmers than usual on a Friday morning. I was happy to be ahead of them.

I hit the BK drive-through for breakfast and ordered a ridiculous amount of food, enough to cover me for breakfast and lunch even with my metabolism pumping.

Got off to an okay start at work, but then major distractibility kicked in. I couldn’t focus on anything. We had a 3:00 all-staff Zoom meeting, and I did okay during the meeting, but its placement in my workday added to my difficulty with sustained focus. I finally got something turned in, a revision of one of the things I submitted Thursday, but I’m making myself do a few more things over the weekend. Penance.

I had some lazy burritos for dinner while I watched Pitch Perfect again, then crashed unintentionally while it played through a second time. I spent the next few hours in and out of consciousness, never really getting up to shut things down until around 4:00, when I just gave up, and got ready for the beach.

There was a lot of texting and office Skyping all day. I shouldn’t say what most of it was, but someone in the office created a fun little activity to make the interesting Zoom meeting even more interesting. It was remarkably fun and kind of bonding for a few of us who participated.

Crush Girl and I texted intermittently all day and into the evening, too. So it was a busy day of communicating with coworkers who’ve become friends, and with just friends.

None of the new metal releases this week look very interesting, so I spent a lot of Friday getting caught up with some new stuff from the past few weeks. The new Deftones was an interesting first listen, but I got tired of it pretty quickly. I like the idea of Deftones but the reality just doesn’t work for me. The new Ayreon has moments but it’s a little on the boring side, and there’s a narrator. Ugh. No thanks.

The new album by the Ocean, Phanerozoic II: Mesozoic | Cenozoic is more like it. Amazing album, if not quite as good as they’ve been. I was pleasantly surprised by this black metal band I’d never heard of until this week, Havukruunu. Their new album, Uinuos syömein sota, made for nice background music while I worked. I’ve never been much into black metal, but since this lockdown began, I’ve really come to appreciate a good deal of it. Something about the dark emptiness, the echoing kind of agony-filled despair works for doing some difficult writing or mundane chores. I wasn’t expecting the solos to be so good, too.

Anyway. Here’s to the weekend. I’ve got a lot of writing to do. I hope I can get to it all, but if I can just put a little dent in it, I think I’ll be okay.

Leave a comment if you lack adequate connectivity in these hollow, abyssmal days of pandemic. We can share some echoing, agony-filled despair or something. I’ve got a good soundtrack for that!

(I wrote the first part of this Thursday review on Friday evening. I wrote the second part Saturday afternoon, past five o’clock)

After a short nap, I got up, brushed my teeth, and got back to work. Finally, sometime past sunrise Thursday, I got these letters drafted. Two versions of the same short letter because I didn’t like the first one, although I think there’s a good idea in there somewhere. My supervisor later agreed: the second version was better, but we’re holding on to the first version for ideas in another publication.

I took another nap, about forty-five minutes in the late morning, then got up and just cranked out the story that’s been killing me. It’s still not great, but it’s better than it was, and here’s what I think happened: I was back in my accustomed (‘though not recently experienced) state of extreme sleep deprivation, a condition I’ve done a lot of writing in, desperate, exhausted, undistracted writing.

File under: stupid writer tricks.

Anyway, the paralysis seems to be broken. I’ll take it, and I will hopefully ride the momentum into Friday, my usual most productive day.

I did a few chores after work, watched the news, and grabbed takeout for dinner from Ahi & Vegetable. A lovely sashimi salad, with ahi, salmon, and hamachi. I was craving fresh raw fish and some uncooked greens.

Breakfast was a can of chili on leftover hapa rice. My fridge is low on fresh things, although I have a few eggs, some broccoli I keep forgetting about, and some Portuguese sausage, among a few other things I could probably toss together. I skipped lunch. Snacked a little on maple creme Oreos.

It’s disheartening to stay up (practically) all night to produce what should be just a few hours’ worth of writing. The self-loathing and dread are kind of demoralizing, partially because I know it’s not just this weird magical aspect of creating. It’s distractibility, laziness, and avoidance. Yes, writing can be very difficult, and forcing difficult work out of wherever it comes from is a kind of painful. But I know how to do it, and I know it’s better to just get it out, but I still have days, nights, and weeks like this.

It’s hyberbole rooted in some amount of truth: it’s like opening a vein sometimes.

I watched Pitch Perfect again as I ate my lovely sashimi salad. I haven’t even watched most of the bonus material, the primary reason for the purchase; nor have I moved on to the sequels. I think I’ll just watch the sequels and then get back to the bonus materials, which include two commentary tracks on the original film.

I don’t expect to get stuck rewatching the sequels. Pitch Perfect is entertaining, engaging, well-intentioned, and terribly flawed. Its sequels are stupid and really stupid, and progressively less entertaining, although still kind of engaging on the strength of their casts.

I think I only texted with Crush Girl Thursday. A lot of back-and-forth throughout the day about dinner choices, some common friends, and this online puzzle game we’ve both gotten into. I’ve known about it for some time, but never got into it until I found out she was hooked on it. Now I spend about fifteen minutes a day on it, usually after I do the crossword.

As you can see, I usually have some room in my day for more texting or DMing. If you need someone to connect with, just hit me up in the comments.

It was a productive but miserable day. I was happy to turn in early.

I woke up about half an hour before my 2:15 a.m. Wednesday morning alarm, considered trying to wring the last 30 minutes of sleep out of the sleep gods, but figured I might as well get up and get going.

At the laundry, I worked on edits for Hawaii Stories, instead of my usual journaling. Had a late Tuesday dinner (Big Mac combo from McD’s). Read a little bit of football news.

I again wasn’t sure when I started out if the beach was in my morning plan, since I’d been Tuesday morning and haven’t done consecutive days since before the lockdown. My feeling was “Why not?” which was good enough a reason to go.

I’m so glad I did. I snagged a good parking space on the Kewalo end, goofed around on my phone a while, and jumped in shortly before sunrise. I also thought if I went in, I’d take it easy, but I swam pretty hard again. It was rewarding, mentally and physically. Probably emotionally and spiritually too. I didn’t want to get out of the water.

Next week I’ll try going three mornings in a row to see how my body handles it. I thought I might do a third morning Thursday (when I’m writing this) but I’ll get into that tomorrow.

Drove straight home, made breakfast, and got to work. Sorta.

I just couldn’t get that story the way I wanted. I had my weekly one-on-one with my supervisor to talk about it. She was supportive and understanding, but also made it clear that I’ve got deadlines. They may be soft deadlines, but every day I don’t move the work forward is a day our graphic designer can’t get started on the annual report my stories are going into.

I spent the workday not getting anywhere. Then I tried to keep at it into the evening. I figured I’d just pull an all-nighter, and once I gave myself permission to do that, of course I just goofed off until a short nap, from like midnight to three.

Brunch Wednesday was corned beef hash and eggs on hapa rice. It was delicious. Such a vice. Dinner was leftover mapo tofu on leftover hapa rice. It was fine, but I’ve decided this is a dish I can’t have as a main dish. I’m normally fine having a side dish as a main dish, but this isn’t going to be one of them, if I ever make it again.

Ali got back to me after a week of unanswered texts. I kind of just stopped sending her messages — I didn’t want to be like the guy who fills her voicemail box. But she was studying late and she reached out Wednesday evening. We had a nice conversation about school and work, and I caught her up on some former coworkers.

Vicky asked me if I wanted to take advantage of a must-order-by-the-end-of-September special she was offering, but I had to tell her I’m still considering a purchase. I’m just not ready to decide. Sharon and I traded a ton of texts about the same former coworkers. Crush Girl and I talked about this online game we’re both into, and a book she’s listening to now that I read a few years ago. Oh, and dinner. Of course we talked about dinner.

I listened to a lot of new music, but I’ll get into that later. Note to self.

Spoiler: the writer’s paralysis kind of worked itself out Thursday, but I’ll write about that Friday morning.

Leave a comment if you want someone to connect with in these lockdown daze. You don’t have to go through this alone, and hopefully you haven’t, lo these nearly seven months. Yikes.

I’m writing about Tuesday at 4:12 in the morning Thursday. Consequently, the details may be hazy, fabricated, or simply glossed over in the interest of some kind of accuracy.

Got up early and hit the beach. It was especially lovely in the fifteen minutes right before the sun came up. I hadn’t been in the ocean since Friday morning, when my goal is not to go more than two days. So I swam pretty hard and stayed in the water a little longer.

I picked up breakfast on the way home, another P&W omelette from Pancakes and Waffles. It was enough food to cover lunch, too.

I started the workday with an email to my supervisor asking for one day’s indulgence. I was frustrated with myself for being unable to make the a donor story look the way I wanted. I knew it was probably fine as it was, but I’m struggling against writing these things so they all look alike, despite a long list of reasons not to worry about it. She understood. She knows I get into these pits of creative despair. At least I recognized it this time and could advocate for a little bit of leeway. I consider this progress.

Aaaaaand I spent the day with writer’s paralysis. It sucked.

I had the Oakland Athletics playoff game with the White Sox on while I tried to write. It actually soothed me and got me in a good mindspace, despite the Athletics’ losing the stupid game.

A couple of times, I muted the game and tried to put the presidential debate on the TV, but I just couldn’t bear it for more than a minute at a time, so I just gave up. Right after, though, I did enjoy watching Twitter explode.

Washed and sterilized my water jugs. Packed my laundry. Ate a few potato chips and a few maple creme Oreos and went to bed early.

There was some decent texting Tuesday. Sylvia woke up to find the water in her apartment was shut off, so we had a few amusing exchanges. Some kind of emergency elsewhere on the property. Jennifer sent me another otter video. Very cute. Crush Girl and I commiserated about our respective work-related travails. And we talked about food, of course. Right before bed, I texted Ryan to tell him I’d edit the Hawaii Stories content while doing my laundry, which is why I didn’t write this then.

You could be in on this sparkling digital communication too, if you need someone to connect with in these cloudy coronadays. A little friendly reminder that you don’t have to go through any of this miserable crap alone. Just leave a comment.

Monday was the first Monday I was at work since before Labor Day. I was so tired from the stupid vampire hours Sunday that I didn’t even think about the beach. Just dragged myself from between the sheets and got to work at the appointed time.

The sad thing about my tidy file cabinet drawers is that I spent so much time on them and don’t even get to appreciate them since I haven’t officially worked in my cube since the middle of March and don’t expect to before 2021. My Monday would have been a lot better if I’d used that time getting my actual work done.

Or finishing my edits on Hawaii Stories. Argh.

Am I spread thinly these days? Gosh, it doesn’t feel like it.

I am not complaining, but this writing life is so strange sometimes.

After work I did some housecleaning related to the Beast. Also related to the Monster. Some of those stray, severed limbs I said were hidden about. I took care of their disgustingness. I’m certain I’m still not done with that, but it’s nice that what was a weekly two-hour ordeal has been reduced to occasional fifteen-minute unpleasantness.

There was room in the trash bin (sort of a no-no nowadays), so I cut up and flattened a good number of empty Amazon boxes, and that filled the bin right up. Making my life less of a shambles, one weekly trip to the curb at a time.

Breakfast was corned beef hash, hapa rice, and eggs again. I didn’t want unused portion from breakfast Sunday to sit in my fridge long, as that’s the kind of thing that tends to be orphaned. No room for orphans in my little dorm fridge. That was good to cover me for lunch too, with some clementines early, and a few maple creme Oreos later.

Dinner was leftover mapo tofu. I think it tasted better the second day, and there’s plenty left.

Jennifer sent me a text link to some video of the orphaned sea otter (orphans again…) eating ice. Very cute. Sylvia texted me to ask about where the good spots are for parking at Ala Moana if she wants to jump in the water where there are no rocks. I gave her my advice. Try the Kewalo end, beginning twenty yards east of the first showers and you can jump in anywhere east until just past the lifeguard tower. Then it’s rocky until just east of the pavilion, after which it’s smooth sailing all the way to Magic Island.

Crush Girl and I traded just a few text messages. She was doing something fun and I preferred not to bother her, mostly. I still did, but only near the end of the day.

I went to bed early but slept terribly again Monday night. Woo. The hits keep coming!

Don’t forget to reach out if you’d like some connectivity during this everlasting pandemic. Just leave a comment.

The worst thing about not sleeping well Saturday night is the decisions one must make Sunday morning. Get up in time for the 7:00 football games, or sleep in and be content with whatever the late games are?

A quick look at the schedule made the choice for me. The Raiders-Patriots game was on. I had plans for Sunday and I chose tiredness over accomplishing less. Never mind that some of the accomplishments were of trivial worth.

I spent daylight hours mostly doing small housekeeping things and a little bit of work. When the late game — the Packers and Saints — ended, I went to the office. My software didn’t need updating, which is usually the only thing that gets me in there these days, but I left some housekeeping unfinished last weekend.

I took care of some busy work. Forms, emails, getting my parking sticker updated, that kind of thing, then continued work on my file cabinet. My files may not be super organized now, but the cabinets are tidy as heck. I brought most of my stuff home for the kind of sorting I’ve been doing on stuff in my house; I also took some stuff from home to the office. I have a rather huge collection of pre-printed stationery, stuff I collected during my teaching years.

It became something of a signature of mine to print my forms on pretty stationery. I was kind of overwhelmed by the amount of forms I had to keep track of every day when I started at Assets, and one way for me to keep it all straight was to print it all on its own stationery. Beach stationery for the daily attendance. Flower statinery for the study hall assignment slips. That kind of thing.

I also had a few assignments for my frosh computer applications courses involving preprinted stationery, so I purchased it whenever it was on sale in the office supply stores, which was almost every season. Halloween paper went on sale in November; Easter paper went on sale in April.

Of course I held on to it all because when I left Assets I thought I’d be back in some classroom somehwere before too long. This is unlikely now, so I’ve brought the stationery with me wherever else I’ve worked. It comes in handy.

I hadn’t taken it to my current job because I packed it away when I left the engineering firm and didn’t get around to unpacking it until decluttering Thursday evening. It looks pretty great in my file cabinet drawer at the office now. All that’s missing is someone to need it.

It felt good to declutter my cubicle space. I still have a little more to do, but not much more. The file cabinets are so tidy! It’s very satisfying.

I got home very tired, but I made the mistake of firing up Pitch Perfect and got sucked in. By the time I was done, I still had a few Sunday evening chores to take care of, which lasted halfway through a second viewing. Then I read a little, did the Monday crossword, and felt the naughty thrill of enjoying the super-early hours for the first time in a while. I let the vampire out of the cave and it reveled.

Fell asleep somewhere around 3:30, guilty, slightly ashamed, dreading the alarm clock, and writing off the planned Monday morning ride to the beach.

Breakfast was some corned beef hash and eggs with hapa rice. Lunch-dinner was Korean takeout, picked up on my way to the office. It was also a late-night snack. Somewhere in between, I had a couple of clementines.

Crush Girl texted a few times. She had some work stress, and I was happy to let her vent. I hope she works it out; things seem kind of bad.

If you need someone to chat with in these dark days, I invite you to leave a comment. I’ll send you my contact info and we can exchange complaints about work and the Raiders. Or whatever.

Slept pretty terribly Friday night. I’m very disappointed in myself.

I started the weekend with the usual Saturday morning stuff. Crossword puzzle. News. Podcasts. Stupid phone games. A little bit of texting.

I called my parents in the late morning. They seem still to be hanging in there, which was nice to hear. I spent close to an hour with them, most of it with my dad. My mom says her phone calls with her friends are a lot like my phone calls with her. How are you? About the same; how are you? About the same. Anything new? Not really. You? Nope.

I also spent some time working on my Christmas shopping. It’s difficult to tell what the Christmas season is going to look like, including my employment status, so I think I’m going to try to get my gifts taken care of by the beginning of November.

I had a couple of clementines for a late breakfast, then a small bag of chips for a snack. So by the time I got lunch-dinner started, I was pretty hungry.

For some reason, I always assumed mapo tofu was complicated to prepare. That local chef acquaintance who died last week? He posted a photo on IG just a few hours before of the dish he made that morning: mapo tofu. So I had it on my mind when I went to the grocery store Monday night, and found a good recipe.

It does have a lot of ingredients, which is probably why I thought it would be more challenging, but the actual preparation isn’t complicated at all. I was quite pleased with the results, too. I had too generous a serving with some hapa rice (actually 75-25 brown-white) while I did a little bit of writing.

I put a few podcasts on while I decluttered. Got through a medium-sized plastic file box and a large tub. I think about half the stuff in both containers went to the trash, but these were at the top of a large stack in my living room, so it’s recent stuff, actual stuff in current use. However, this stuff is (mostly) now in assigned spaces. Some of it (a few concert posters, a few ticket stubs, a few notes from friends) is keepsake stuff I still don’t know what to do with, so it went into a keeper tub, which went to the storage corner of my laundry room.

It was good progress, especially since the only reason I actually got into it was because I thought I should. I wasn’t feeling it until I was well into the task. But yay.

I rewarded myself with some idle, wasted time playing stupid phone games. Again. Got the munchies a little late, one of the rare instances where I craved something sweet, so I broke open a package of maple creme Oreos I’ve had in the pantry for a few weeks. They’re good, and I enjoyed four of them before shutting everything down for the night.

Crush Girl and I sent a few texts back and forth, sporadically through the day. One of the movies we talked about Thursday was in the news late Friday, so I sent her a link. Jocelyn and I traded some Gchat messages about Juju Chang’s newphew, a pitcher for the Dodgers.

After three straight three-day weekends, I’m going to have some diffculty getting into the groove this week. Gotta make the most (and maybe the least, at the same time) of my Sunday.

But I’ve got room for you, if you need someone to connect with. Leave a comment. I’ll send contact info.

I got to the beach shortly before sunrise Friday. The water was nice, but there were quite a few more swimmers than usual, and more of them swimming in packs. I certainly don’t begrudge the group swimmers their camaraderie, but they always swim abreast, which means an always-yielder like me has to go far out of my way to give them the berth wide enough for my comfort. There was a moment when a large pack was coming up behind me while a smaller pack came toward me from ahead. I got out of their way as they converged and fought the annoyance down.

It doesn’t make sense to be annoyed if I’ve got a larger personal-space bubble than other swimmers, who based on my experience have teeny-tiny bubbles.

I picked up a loco moco from Bob’s BBQ on Dillingham. The loco is inexpensive there and rather good for the price, but it’s not quite as satisfying as I need after a good swim, so I also went through the drive-through at the neighboring Taco Bell for a little bit more.

My focus Friday was completing edits for the staff newsletter, and I also did edits on an appeal letter from one of the higher-profile units at UH Manoa. Worked a little on my stories but not enough. I’m going to have to do them over the weekend.

It took me a while to find my groove, but I eventually settled in and got the stuff done. I have to say I’m fairly proud of the results, something I don’t feel every day.

I watched the news, did some crosswords, listened to podcasts, and read some football news. Played some silly phone games in my bed and crashed there without intention. So I got up shortly before three and wrote Wednesday’s journal while giving the new Public Enemy a spin.

There are some solid tracks there, and it’s something of a relief to see that Flavor Flav is back in the mix. My early favorite tracks are “GRID” with Cyprus Hill, “Public Enemy Number Won” with Ad-Rock, Mike D, and Run-DMC, and “Smash the Crowd” with Ice-T and PMD. There’s an update of “Fight the Power” called “Fight the Power: Remix 2020” with Nas, Rapsody, Black Thought, Jahi, YG, and ?uestlove. I like it a lot but it’s not an improvement on the original. If I saw them in concert and they broke this one out instead of the original, I’d be super annoyed.

Friday I also spun the new album from The Ocean, Phanerozoic II: Mesozoic | Cenozoic. Musically it’s a lot less heavy and dense than my favorite work from them, but it’s still quite a terrific album. I’m going to have to sit down with the lyrics and see how it works thematically. Strong contender for best metal album of the year.

Crush Girl texted me a photo of her latest baking accomplishment. It looked pretty great. We talked a little about one of her favorite movies from her childhood. I love talk like this.

Sylvia and I texted all evening. She’s got some Hilo acquaintances staying over for unexpected, strange reasons, but she’s such a trouper. Sharon and I texted some work talk, actual business related stuff and not just office chitchat. Vicky texted me to let me know there’s a special for new members, but it expires at the end of the month. I told her to send me the order form but not to get her hopes up.

How the heck is it almost the end of September? Uggggggh.

For lunch, I finished off the beef stroganoff, and for dinner I unwrapped a small hunk of Oma cheese from the Jasper Hill creamery. Didn’t finish it off, thinking it might be good to cook with. It’s a good, creamy, slightly nutty, somewhat pungent cheese; I enjoyed it with some crackers. A balsamic vinegar drizzle cut through the pungency and added a little bit of depth. Some local honey did very little for it, but I think something sweet would really add something.

All righty. Bring on the weekend. And leave a comment if you’d like someone to connect with in these pandemic days. I’ve got bandwidth for that.

I’m writing about Thursday at 2:30 Friday night, so I’m really behind. I’m also listening to the new Public Enemy album, and listening to rap makes writing difficult. But you know. When it’s time for Public Enemy, it’s time.

More progress, yet still no completion, on my stories. Worked on my contributions to the staff newsletter, which was a good break. I took my lunch hour late, at 3:00 after our department’s Zoom meeting, so I could sit in on my high-school classmate Vicky’s MLM seminar.

I avoid these things as avidly as anyone, but Vicky’s a good friend, this is a side hustle she’s been working at for a long time, it’s important to her, and if I can give up half an hour of my day to be an attentive audience and help her out, why shouldn’t I do it? In fact, since the seminar (attended by her since I think I was officially her guest, but not led by her) was super non-threatening, I’m thinking I should find other friends running MLM businesses and just volunteer, if it actually does help.

The thing was on Zoom, and we had the option to participate with video and audio turned off. I’ll admit it was also mildly interesting and I won’t rule out placing an order although I have to say I’m not enthusiastic at all about the product, and it’s a bit pricey. It’s for Vicky.

I worked a little later than usual, the last hour while watching the news, then worked on the Beast. I actually went through two small tubs and a larger one, and pretty much emptied two of them. The sorting was easy; it was mostly books and DVDs. The books went on a shelf in a cabinet I’m using as temporary book holding, in my laundry room. The DVDs went into a couple of carrying cases I picked up on Amazon at the beginning of summer. They hold forty normal-sized DVDs, and they’re big enough to accommodate those whole-season boxes. I haven’t decided what to do with my DVDs in the long term, but since I still prefer them to digital services, I need a reasonable way to store them while I figure it all out.

The space this decluttering opened up after just Thursday evening’s work is noticeable. It feels good. I’m focusing lately on the area right around my work space, where I spend most of my waking hours these days.

Breakfast was leftover beef stroganoff. It was a little better the next day but still disappointing. Lunch was a couple of clementines, followed by a couple more some time later. Dinner was more of the bread I made the other day, some of it with tuna and some with peanut butter.

I went to bed kind of early so I could get to the beach Friday morning before work.

Sylvia texted me early to talk about some of her feelings about the new position. I kinda wish she could just get started, as the build-up is causing her more stress than I think is healthy. I texted the other Jennifer to give her some thoughts on Bill & Ted.

Crush Girl and I texted briefly about stuff we cooked recently and traded some thought about the fire in Manoa that got really close to houses and schools. Oh, and of course Vicky and I traded texts about the seminar we attended. I told her I’m not interested in any kind of side gig with her, but I’m not ruling out trying the product, which I wouldn’t say (to her) if I didn’t mean it.

I have room in my day for more connectivity if it’s what you need. Hit me up in comments if you want some fellowship.

When I wrote about my Tuesday at the laundry early Wednesday morning, I wasn’t sure I’d go to the beach on my way home. I just wasn’t feeling it. But if there’s a positive theme about all my lockdown time, it’s making myself do stuff I don’t want to do, even when there’s nobody to pressure me to do it, and learning it doesn’t suck that badly.

Surf musta been up, because I didn’t see good parking on the Kewalo end, where I’d hoped to jump in. Found a good spot on the Magic Island end, right where the pavilions begin. Goofed off on my phone while waiting for sunrise, and then jumped in ten minutes before dawn anyway. I seldom swim in dark water, but it looked pretty inviting.

I kind of thought I might just cruise, since it was my third morning in the water in five days, but I found myself pushing, and it felt good, so I just went with it. The water felt so nice that I lingered, staying in the ocean a bit longer than usual. I even spent a little bit of time in prayer, which is something of a worrisome trend lately, when I’m cooling down in the water after a good swim.

I stopped for breakfast at Pancakes and Waffles. Something called the P&W omelette. It was good. I had enough left over for lunch, too.

I’m behind on these stories. My supervisor’s getting a little impatient, and I totally get it. I just really don’t like the feel of this one story that’s holding me up. I worked on it most of the day, and put it aside to work on the other. I didn’t complete anything. I had one phone call (my weekly one-on-one with my supervisor) and one Zoom meeting, for some work we’re doing with the Cancer Center.

After work, I made the first of three new (to me) meals I planned. Beef stroganoff in the Instant Pot. I didn’t really plan on something so heavy, as you’ll see with my other choices this week. I was just browsing recipes and the photo looked interesting to I went with it. It came out pretty good, but then I tried to thicken it with a cornstarch slurry, following optional instructions in the recipe. I still can’t do it. I don’t know what my issue is, but thickening things with cornstarch just doesn’t work for me.

I wouldn’t say I ruined it, because it’s still edible and it’s not bad, but ugh. It’s not great.

I ate it while watching Bill and Ted Face the Music, the third film in the series. It’s pretty stupid and pretty clever and even pretty funny.

I don’t want to get into it (because it’s a tiresome story that keeps repeating) but I crashed Wednesday night before putting myself properly to bed, sometime around 10:00. It was terrible, because I kept waking up and telling myself to get up and turn off lights, brush my teeth, and put myself to bed. And I kept falling asleep, and waking up and — shoot, I said I wasn’t going to get into it.

I forced myself out of bed at about 2:30 in the morning, and I was kind of hungry, so I ate some leftover bread and leftover tuna, chatting with my friend Victoria about NaNoWriMo on FB messenger. Finally got everything taken care of and myself back in bed at 4:30.

I snacked on some clementines between lunch and dinner. Forgot to mention that.

I traded a bunch of texts with Penny about buying a laptop. Crush Girl and I texted quite a bit about some stuff we’ve been watching. I mentioned Central Park and Grace and Frankie (which I still haven’t watched). She mentioned that My Octopus Teacher documentary everyone’s talking about. Then we talked a little about some Steve Martin films we both like.

When the Amazon fairy brought those Pitch Perfect DVDs Tuesday, it also brought a replacement memory foam matress-topper. The one I had was ancient, a Christmas gift from George a million years ago. It’s been falling apart, and the entire lower right corner ripped completely off, making it a bit uncomfortable to sleep on my back, which I sorta have to do with Darth Vader on my face. It’s weird what you make yourself get used to.

The new mattress topper is nicer than the last, and half the price. I’m quite pleased, and it’s one reason I crashed so quickly last night before I really meant to. I shan’t make this mistake again, at least not this evening.

If you need someone to connect with, feel free to leave a comment. I’ll send contact info and we can text the night away, if I’m not face-planted, drooling into my new matress-topper.